Appalachian Dialect Heritage

Come Go Home With Me

Ways to say goodbye
There is just something about Summer that makes you want to visit-whether it’s walking to the neighbors house or taking a road trip to see family or friends who live in another town. Maybe it’s the warm weather-the longer days-or maybe it’s cause our parents were taught the tradition of visiting in the summer by their parents.

Recently, a dear sweet lady, told me how as a child her family would walk over the mountains from Swain County to visit their family who lived in the Cades Cove area. Why she guessed it must have been at least 20 miles. Someone said-well how long did you stay when you went? She said they stayed at least a week after walking that far.

I was telling Paul about her family walking all that way to visit with their family-me and him got to talking about all the ways folks say goodbye. Two ‘goodbyes’ that we’ve heard all our lives- “Come go home with me” (said by the folks who are leaving) and “You ought to just spend the night” (said by the folks who you’ve been visiting with).

As is often the case-me and Paul got pretty silly thinking about all the times we heard folks say those things when we were kids out visiting with Pap and Granny or folks were visiting us. We began to ponder on what would have happened if Pap and Granny had said “sure we’ll spend the night find us all a bed” or “well it is midnight but yes we’ll all go home with you-kids put your shoes on!”

A little mischievous of me-but I’d like to go back to one of those late night pickin and grinnin sessions where the men wanted to talk a little longer-the kids wanted to run wild outside in the dark a little longer-but all the women wanted to go home and the woman of the house most definitely wanted all the rowdy kids to GO HOME. When the parting goodbye of ‘”yall ought to just spend the night” was said, usually by the husband, I’d say YES WE’LL ALL SPEND THE NIGHT-then I’d work on convincing them ALL to stay. Just once I’d like to have pulled it off.

Although I know we never did stay when it was offered-in some cases folks did take the hosts up on their offer. One local family, that’s quite large, said it was common for their families to spend the night with each other-even though they didn’t live very far from one another. When I asked where everyone slept-they said they laid cross ways on the bed-so more people would fit that way.

“We’ll see ya” is without a doubt the most common form of goodbye used in my part of Appalachia. At some point during my teenage years ‘we’ll see ya’ got on my last nerve. I got to where-when I heard it-I wanted to say ‘no you will not see me!!!’ All these years later-hearing someone say ‘we’ll see ya’ doesn’t bother me one bit-must have been my superior teenage brain that it bothered.

So how do you say goodbye?

Tipper

 

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30 Comments

  • Reply
    Joe Mode
    May 24, 2011 at 11:10 am

    We typically say “See ya’ll later,” or “Ya’ll take care,” or “Be careful and take it low and slow.” Of course many in our family say, “What’s yer hurry?” or “Why don’t ya’ll just stay with us?”
    My granny would always say, “I love ya honey, come back and see me when you can.”
    My great grandfather, Paw Bowers, uesd to say, “See you later, home, heaven, or hell.”

  • Reply
    Lanny
    July 13, 2010 at 11:11 am

    That was such an enjoyable read. It really is so much fun to read about how things are done and said in another place. We’re quite boring here, we just say, “bye”. Well, except for us to a certain family…
    When Anna was about six, our very good friends were fairly new to us, the adults had been forming a friendship for about two-three years, my girls were very familiar with Rebecca and they certainly knew Mike. Then Mike and Rebecca finally had their first baby and we began to see more and more of them and frequently out at our farm as they were living with her mom and dad. Any way, one of those late nights Anna was out on the porch with us saying good-bye and wanting to have the last good-bye, as the couple began to put themselves in their seats after putting baby Anne in her seat, she called out, “Good-bye Anne. Good-bye Rebecca. Good-bye…what-ever-your-name is.”
    So now when saying good-bye to that family we pretty much repeat what Anna once said. And we all have a good giggle as we close the door behind us.

  • Reply
    Granny Sue
    July 13, 2010 at 10:54 am

    Around here, people often say, “you might as well come over home with us.” It’s such a friendly invitation, although I’ve yet to see anyone take up the offer. When I’m saying goodbye to my own, I usually say “Travel safely” and *always* finish by saying “love you.” Life it too chancy and I want to know that these were the last words spoken to a loved one–as happened the last time I spoke with my son Jon. The memory of saying that, and his reply, I treasure daily.

  • Reply
    Helen G.
    July 13, 2010 at 9:29 am

    Don’t be such strangers, now… or y’all need to stay a while longer and/or come back when you can stay longer. It was usually at family reunions when I remember folks saying “come on home with us now”. The summer after I turned 16 I went home with my aunt, uncle and cousins that lived in Chicago. Stayed for a week in the “big city” then rode the train all by myself back to Okla. City. I felt all grown up but after a 12 hour ride I was sure glad to be home again. Most goodbyes I remember took what seemed forever to us kids. We kids would be thinking “you all talked a week already what more can you have to say?” and consisted of see you laters and in the case of special folks, I love you all and take care now, ya hear.
    Posted another squash report. I haven’t been as prompt as with the corn reports but it has been a crazy spring and summer in my life out of the garden.
    Thanks for the trip to way back yonder when we’d make special plans to go visiting…
    Helen

  • Reply
    Nancy M.
    July 13, 2010 at 12:59 am

    My cousins always say come on and go home with us. It always just seemed natural to me. When I was a child, sometimes I really wanted to go with them, but my parents wouldn’t let me!

  • Reply
    mamabug
    July 12, 2010 at 10:44 pm

    With hubby’s family it’s always you just got here or what’s the hurry as we get ready to leave. My grandmother always said come again when you can stay a little longer!

  • Reply
    GrannyPam
    July 12, 2010 at 6:33 pm

    I never say goodbye, it is always, “See you soon.” Goodbye is too much, really.

  • Reply
    Fishing Guy
    July 12, 2010 at 2:30 pm

    Tipper: We did come from a much simpler time. We would walk a couple miles to school in grade school and 5 miles in junior high. When we went to senior high some people were driving so we got a ride.

  • Reply
    Becky
    July 12, 2010 at 9:27 am

    My Mom always said, “Well, you don’t have to be in such a hurry.” Only someone stayed the night if it was planned in advance.
    Here, before my older kids got married and moved out, I never knew who would be on the couch and/or floor the next morning. Seems we always had a house full.
    Now, I say, “See ya later” or “Bye”.

  • Reply
    Nancy Wigmore
    July 12, 2010 at 8:38 am

    Tippe,
    Memories escape me from bygone days, distance separates me from family members nowadays! I do however stay in touch with my mama who lives in a nursing home. We talk to each other every day. We always end our conversations with either see ya later or see you in the funny papers or talk with you over the fence. I sure do miss those visits with friends and neighbors from yesteryear. Thanks for sharing these memories.

  • Reply
    Stacey
    July 12, 2010 at 8:17 am

    I don’t think we have a set phrase to say goodbye. Although, in this area I always say & hear, “Watch for deer.” We have an abundance of them & hitting one can cause over $1000.00 in damage to your car.
    Stacey
    SWPA

  • Reply
    Connie
    July 12, 2010 at 12:15 am

    I can remember my Grandma and parents saying, “Don’t be such a stranger” when someone was leaving to go home. But my favorite was from Grandma, “You fers (folks?) come back now.” I can still hear it said in her twang and it makes me teary!!! I heard it many times as my husband and I were leaving her house.

  • Reply
    Sheryl Paul
    July 12, 2010 at 12:05 am

    We always heard you all come back now, and they replied you all come see us. And just in case we were not listening they said you hear?

  • Reply
    Em
    July 11, 2010 at 6:51 pm

    Hey Tipper, we just say “See ya later”… almost all the time! If it’s a family member, we’ll add on “I love you”…

  • Reply
    Tipper
    July 11, 2010 at 5:33 pm

    Anastasia-how interesting that not staying when someone asked you to-would be taken as an offense there. Thank you for the comment!
    Blind Pig The Acorn
    Music, Giveaways, Mountain Folk
    All at http://www.blindpigandtheacorn.com

  • Reply
    Sandra VanOrman
    July 11, 2010 at 4:57 pm

    Tipper.. what beautiful words, “Come home with me”…instead of saying goodbye.
    It reminded me of a place near the Oregon border near Idaho called Farewell Bend. When the pioneers came west in wagon trains, they would part after entering Oregon. Some families would continue on, while others went to California. They would tell each other “Farewell!”
    How do I say goodbye? I don’t. When family members visit then leave I always say “See ya- I love you”… Goodbye is too final.

  • Reply
    Ken
    July 11, 2010 at 4:10 pm

    Tipper,
    When I was little we visited some
    family members or good friends and
    all these sayings were exchanged a
    lot. My mama and daddy would
    always take a couple of jars of
    things they had canned to give
    something of themselves, and when
    we stayed overnight, we did sleep
    crossways lots of times because
    the families were larger then. And
    when we left, we were given some-
    thing to return home with as a
    token of their love and
    friendship. I wish it was still
    like that, but today most folks
    look at their little phone window
    to decide if they want to talk,
    even if they’re friends. Ken

  • Reply
    Anastasia
    July 11, 2010 at 3:42 pm

    If I have guests at home and considering I enjoyed their company, I’d say “Why don’t you stay a bit longer?” And I really mean it! Otherwise I’d say: “Hope to see you again soon.” or “Thanks for coming. It was great seeing you again.” In Cyprus, however, if you invite visitors to spend the night at your home and they refuse, it is regarded as a great offense.

  • Reply
    betsyfromtennessee
    July 11, 2010 at 3:39 pm

    Interesting post…. Even though I was raised in the mountains of VA, I don’t remember anyone ever visiting much on Sundays –and I certainly don’t remember anyone spending the night with us, or us with them… That is just so interesting….
    Our goodbyes were: “See ya later” or “Y’all come back now, ya hear”
    Hugs,
    Betsy

  • Reply
    Clint
    July 11, 2010 at 3:16 pm

    My dad used to say ‘just go with us.’ no one ever did.

  • Reply
    georgie
    July 11, 2010 at 2:53 pm

    We’d drive three days most summers to North Dakota. Dad’s brother and family who had a cattle ranch there and we would visit for a week. It would take 15 minutes to leave. Lots of hugs, oh please don’t go-you just got here and be sure to call and write were said. Also a big parcel of food made by Aunt H, including homemade beef jerky, some yummy dessert etc.

  • Reply
    Cher'ley
    July 11, 2010 at 2:03 pm

    Don’t be in such a hurry and Come back when you can stay longer (even if they’d spent the night)

  • Reply
    Sandra
    July 11, 2010 at 12:54 pm

    i forgot to say, we ate in shifts and all the children had to wait until the adults had their plates. since we were the preachers kids, we got to go through the line with the adults. they had the dessert table set up on the porch. WOW

  • Reply
    Sandra
    July 11, 2010 at 12:53 pm

    ‘we’ll see ya’ I have said and heard all my life, the other two are new to me. when you said large family it rang a memory bell. in a holler called Miss Axies holler, lived Ms Axie and her 23 children. I kid you not. she had 9 sets of twins. since it takes many years to have that many kids, half of them were grown and had kids of their own. this brought the count in 1957 to 36 on Sunday at lunch. plus my dad, who was their pastor and mother and my brother and me. we had to park the car and walk about half a mile to get to the house. they grew all food themselves. now what if they said stay the night. YIKES. thanks for stirring the memory pot

  • Reply
    Kat
    July 11, 2010 at 12:28 pm

    Remember hearing my folks say, wish ya wouldn’t rush off but come back and maybe ya can stay longer next time. My folks loved having company and Mom fed everybody that came.

  • Reply
    kenneth o. hoffman
    July 11, 2010 at 11:47 am

    one of the toughest goodbyes in my life, was in aug.of 57,as my grandma, and uncle fred,followed us from sandy plains to bryson. it was hard to let go,as we headed back to wa. state. all the while me thinking we might never see them again. but as fate was on our side. we all ended up in az and spent the next many years together, grandma used to say, just stay a mite longer. oh to go back for just an hour. bless you all. k.o.h

  • Reply
    Vicki Lane
    July 11, 2010 at 11:32 am

    I say ‘see you later’ — good bye seems so final.
    Some of our neighbors used to say — “Stay with us– we’ll talk all night.” It was tempting.

  • Reply
    Miss Cindy
    July 11, 2010 at 11:31 am

    Hey Tipper, that’s my dad on the left in that picture and those are some of the tall women in my dad’s family. These were my grandmothers sisters and brothers. Most all of them were 6 feet tall.
    I remember “ya’ll come back” most of all also remember “come go home with me” and “ya’ll ought to just stay the night”.
    The thing about these fine country folks is that they meant it!! They would share whatever they had, the food, the bed, or whatever.

  • Reply
    Sue
    July 11, 2010 at 11:30 am

    I so enjoy reading you blog!!! Mt FIL passed away at the age of 93-three years ago–raised up with to brothers and sisters-and when ever he left from visting he would say “come and go with

  • Reply
    Sable Purvis
    July 11, 2010 at 10:33 am

    My brother would always say..”see ya in the funny papers”!

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