Uncle Henry’s funeral service was held at the funeral home. Afterwards everyone drove in a processional line to the church where he was buried.
As we drove the distance my heart was brightened by the many people who pulled their cars to the side of the busy road in respect for Henry and his loved ones.
One gentleman even got out of his car and stood beside it. Might be that he knew Henry or the family or it might be he had no idea who was passing by in the hearse. Either way he decided to show respect.
In days gone by folks pitched in to help when someone died. They prepared the body, dug the grave, and made the casket. One of Matt’s friends lost an uncle and the men in the family built the casket themselves. He told me staying up all night with the other family members and working on the casket they would lay their beloved uncle, brother, father, and friend in to rest was of the most meaningful things he had ever taken part of during his life.
Today people pitch in by offering comfort, prayers, feeding the family so they don’t have to worry with cooking for a while, and anything else that needs doing.
Traffic stopping out of respect for a funeral procession is a death tradition in Appalachia that I hope never ever goes away.
Last night’s video: New Breakfast Routine, Why Matt’s in a Bad Mood, & Making Fermented Pickled Peppers.
Tipper
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We do that here in Texas, too. It’s a lovely, Godly, civilized thing to do for each other! Keeping y’all in my prayers, Tipper & family.
Hello Tipper,
Many prayers for your family and recent losses. I live in TN and always stop for a funeral procession if it is safe to do so. I have always felt it is a last act of great respect for the living and deceased. It says “I care that your family is hurting.” I am so happy your Uncle Henry received such respect!
Tipper, here in Kentucky it’s not only a show of respect it’s the law. 🙂 Right of Way: Many states grant funeral processions the right of way at intersections. For example, in states like Arizona and Kentucky, funeral processions can proceed through red lights and stop signs, implying that other vehicles must yield.
Our prayers go out to both you and Matt and your families for your loses. A true sign of respect for the family of the passed person by pulling over and waiting for the procession to pass is very nice and hopefully continues. When my wife and I came up to Murphy to attend her brother-in-law’s funeral it was probably the most moving I have ever attended. He was a member of three different fire departments so to honor his passing each fire department had several of their service vehicles to form a parade from Murphy to the Grape Creek Baptist church. Fire men and EMTs formed two lines as my brother-in-law’s ashes were carried in. At the end of the service a “last call” was given and each department my brother-in-law was a part called out his name and number and retired his number. Again a true sign of respect. Again our prayers go out to you.
Henry is missed. I phoned a mutual friend today, Bill Ledford. We did a lot of jamming at Bill’s place. Bill was cutting grass.. oh, Bill is 92 years old!
It is unsafe to pull over in some places, but until now I have always lived where the roadside show of respect was practiced and appreciated. Here in bustling east-central Florida, no one pulls over. In fact, there was no police assistance at the funerals for several family members. We were on our own for travel from the church or funeral home to the cemetery across town. Of course, traffic lights held up some, making them late. In small-town SC, however, that respectful act is still practiced, and law officers still help with keeping the procession safe and mostly intact.
Having grown up in the Midwest this was one thing we could do to honor those who had passed away and all those who had survived this person as they headed to their loved ones final resting place. Now living on the Gulf coastal area this tradition is also practiced. I believe it should be required by law. It’s a beautiful event to honor those who have passed. Have a blessed week and my sympathies to Miss Tipper and Mr Matt and all the families and friends of their lost loved ones.
This was common practice here in the Maritime provinces of Canada. When my Dad’s funeral procession went through the city of Saint John in New Brunswick the crews working on the road stopped work and removed their hard hats. It was very moving. It is really meaningful to know that others are acknowledging your loss and sympathizing with you. I have to say that it is not as common now as it was twenty years ago but hopefully it will continue to be a tradition.
I remember when folks would sit up with a body all night and be there to help comfort the family members. Neighbors, friends and church members still bring food to families who have lost a loved one. In my area of NC, most of the time I still see people pulling off the road when a funeral procession goes by. I know my family does but sometimes you have some that will blow their horn at you and pass you. Apparently, they never knew about this tradition or just don’t care. Respect is something that I see less and less of these days.
This is still done where I live in West Central Wisconsin, but I grew up in a small town 25 miles from here (population 2400), and now live outside of a town of 1700. Maybe it’s not done in the more populated areas. I’m not sure. It would be a very sad day to see this respectful tradition end.
I had never seen folks stop their cars and pull over for a funeral procession until I was well into adulthood. I live in Rockford, IL, about 90 miles northwest of Chicago. The first time I experienced that beautiful tradition wasn’t too far from my hometown, at my Dad’s funeral. Seeing all of those folks that most likely did not know my Dad pullover out of respect and kindness brought me to tears. I wish that was practiced throughout our country.
Most people here in east NC still pull over. Our sheriff deputies block the intersections and stand outside their vehicles with their hats over their hearts. I have certainly appreciated the respect shown when I have lost loved ones. Besides if I didn’t pull over my parents and grandparents would come up out of their graves and whoop me with a big switch.
I grew up in Sevierville County where all of this was common practice. They took the bodies home and stayed up with the families. It was a lot more personal then. I hope it doesn’t go away either. Sorry for all of your loss and hopefully granny has a good day. God bless.
People here in my area of Florida think the best way is to cremate and have a memorial service later. Too each his own but it’s not for me! While I love Florida, my roots are in Indiana. I’m securing my spot in the lovely cemetery where my parents are buried. Most likely the Pastor from my home church there will do a graveside service so there won’t be a procession. It will be planned, bought and paid for before I go, right down to giving an offering to my Florida church (I really don’t care if they do a memorial service but just in case) and my Indiana church. I’m hoping for the upper-taker (The Lord), but if that is not what the Lord wants for me I have planned for undertaker!
Linda, your comment reminds me of my mother in law. We were all sitting around in the den talking about any and everything when the subject of cremation came up. My mother in law spoke up loud and clear “I’ll tell y’all one thing, I have not lived all of my life trying to stay out of hell to have my children burn me up when I die!” Now when we are together and get to talking about the family members that have died, we remember and laugh about her saying that. She did had a traditional visitation, funeral and burial. Like you, it is not for me. This won’t happen, but if I could I would like to have my funeral at my lifetime church and have my body carried to the church cemetery about a 1/2 mile away on my utility trailer pulled by my old Super H Farmall tractor. I don’t care for my last ride on earth being in the back of a Cadillac, my old pickup truck would be a good substitute. My wife and daughter did not want to be buried in the church cemetery and were not, I will be buried by them. One preacher I want was 4 years old and the ring bearer at my wedding, he told everyone he was going to be the pall bearer! I have told him, I would give him a promotion and let him preach at my funeral. I hope he will be able to do it.
Here in my corner of the world: British Columbia, Canada, stopping when a funeral procession was passing used to be a common sight as well; so was reaching out to assist the family in whatever way needed. I still like to provide a casserole for those I know, & if not near me, then I pay to have a local cafe or restaurant delivery. Sadly, such traditions are not as common anymore. The world, it is ‘a changing.’ 🙁
I have always pulled over and stopped to allow a funeral procession to pass, but some drivers behind me don’t seem to understand why we stop. Sometimes my eyes are so filled with tears that it’s hard to continue driving, especially if the hearse is followed by only a few vehicles. Cops still stop traffic to allow a large procession to enter a busy highway in my area.
We always pulled over to the side of the road in respect for the family in MS, and here in PA. They still do in MS and some do here in PA. They also brought food in for the family in MS and here in PA, still do. My Daddy was a kid when his Grandfather died in MS but he remembers going with his parents and sitting up all night with his Grandparents at his Grandparent’s home.
I remember sitting up with the dead, people bringing food, etc. There was usually a meal after the service. Many places in Tn still hold to some of those traditions but there was no meal after my brother’s service this summer. I pulled over for a funeral procession when I lived in a small town in Pennsylvania when I first married over 50 years ago and people went on so did I. After talking to locals I realized it was not a practice in that area. Not long ago I witnessed several young men filling the grave with dirt as a show of respect. I’m not sure if that was an old custom for those people or a new one but it impressed me. One of the young men took it up on himself to tamp the dirt occasionally as well. I noticed changes in customs during the height of Covid when people did not hold funerals or only had small graveside services. That time changed a lot of customs. My condolences to Matt’s uncle’s family.
I never knew of this tradition until I moved to NC. I hope it continues. I find it especially moving when someone gets out and stands by their car.
Growing up in Charlotte we always stopped for funeral processions and burned out headlights.
I am not sure folks do it much anymore, however, I sure do when I see one.
My mother passed in 2015, and the procession to the cemetery went through town for the first mile or so. On one street, there was a lady raking in her yard, and when the procession reached her, she stopped, turned to the procession, and put her hand over her heart. In the entire 12 mile ride to the cemetery, that was the one instance that I remember to this day. I wish I could have remembered the house so I could have stopped by and told her how much her gesture was appreciated.
Two of us sung graveside at a funeral here in Georgia some few years ago after about a 20-mile procession trip. Law enforcement blocked every intersection. People pulled over and waited for us to pass along the whole way. The tradition is about more than a courtesy. It is also about those meeting that last trip to pause and reflect that it is the common end of most all of us and their turn will come.
In Deep East Texas it is still the norm. Our police escort the procession and block the intersections. Many will still stand by the car, hat in hand. As I read Tipper each day, I still see that our experiences in small towns is still the same, wherever you live.
Graves are usually dug by friends or family in our area. If not, then you have to pay the funeral home to hire someone, and the cost of the funeral is already so expensive. It also gives the grieving family one less thing to worry about. My hubby just helped with the digging of a grave for a man in our area a few months ago. It was raining on the day of the funeral and he was asked to go make sure the grave did not need water pumped out before the procession arrived. Most folks still pull over for funeral processions here in WV—we always have been taught to show that respect. I love that a man got out of his car and stood to offer respect for your Uncle. That is heartwarming.
One thing that struck with me about my Daddy’s funeral is how the police escort got out of their cars and motorcycle as they were stopping traffic and rendered a hand salute as the casket passed by. My dad was never a policeman but was a veteran so maybe that’s why but it always struck with me
The worst 2 funnel processions I have ever been a part of was at Chattanooga,Tennessee. My aunt and uncle lived on a side street off of East Brainard Road. Their funerals was at a funeral home close to their home but they were buried in a cemetery close to bottom of the Incline Railroad. Try taking a funeral procession down Interstate 75 and then Interstate 24 with cars trying to enter and exit the interstates.
When my Dad died, many parts of the day he was buried have blurred in my mind. It was 1991. However, one memory stays clear and precious to me. As the funeral procession made its way slowly through the streets that led to the church, there was a gentleman mowing grass in a yard we passed. He got off the lawnmower, removed his hat and placed it over his heart as we passed him by. That man, probably long dead himself, never knew what that gesture meant to a heartbroken young woman. I cling to the belief that it is the small things that we do in life that mean the most.
I love this tradition and still stop for a funeral procession whenever I can. If it isn’t feasible, I at least slow way, way down. In our county, the deputies who direct traffic at the intersections for a funeral procession will also get out of their cars, stand at attention, and salute as the procession passes. I love that.
Tipper, unfortunate to report this, but in WV there ain’t nobody going to move for you dead or alive…that beautiful ship has sailed for good… I remember those days well though. Blessings to you all this day!
I was told my Grandmother participated in the funeral of a young woman. This funeral also was assisted by other young women. Has anyone heard of this tradition?
At this funeral is where my grandparents would meet for the first time.
What a beautiful sign of respect, to pull over to the side of the road when you see a funeral procession…I have never heard of that or see it. What a blessing to live in an area that shows such love, respect, and kindness for those you know as well as those you don’t. Praying for you and your family…
Still a tradition here in Eastern Kentucky.
My great grandfather made coffins (I still have his tiny pliers made especially for removing bent coffin nails) and he often declined to charge for his labor as a show of respect.
Stopping for a funeral procession is a common show of respect in Georgia. I have seen it all my life and I always pull over!
Stopping your vehicle or taking your hat off if your outside when the funeral procession goes by is still observed here in East TN, but have noticed several don’t anymore also. not sure if they understand.
As being a friend of or having a family member who has passed it is appreciated.
I remember sitting up at the deceased family’s house all night growing up, but it’s been 50 years since I last seen that. Another tradition that is no longer with us.
My Husband and I traveled in a motorhome for a few years and noticed in Texas they would stop and stand outside their car hat off for funeral procession. I was impressed with it. Not done so much anymore but should be out of respect
As far as I can remember in my life we have always pulled over to the side of the road or simply stopped and some of us offered up prayer for the people in a funeral procession. We did this in WV and when we moved to NC. Most everyone I knew did this tradition of pulling over out of respect to the grieving families. Sadly I’ve recently noticed this tradition in the area I live in of NC is changing. I’ve noticed people don’t pull over for funeral processions like they use to do. In fact when a few cars including mine pulled over for a funeral procession the cars behind us blew their horns or tried to go around us, so we moved on. It was sad. I’m not sure if it’s because those people are from other parts of the country that don’t practice this tradition or maybe they were in an urgent need to get to where they were going. Either way, I’m afraid this respectful tradition in our area of NC is slowly leaving us.
My deepest sympathy and prayers for comfort have been lifted up for all families of your Uncle Henry and his friends as well.
That tradition is alive and well in our area as well. Occasionally, you’ll see someone who doesn’t, or seems impatient, but mostly it’s still observed. I pray we continue to teach that to the young people.
Please continue to pray for my cousin. I got the call last night that the pet scan showed the mass is also in his stomach and has spread to his lymph nodes. We just lost his sister on Christmas day last year, so this is especially hard for them. He starts treatment tomorrow. Thank you all for your prayers! I’m honored that you would pray for him.
May we never forget what an honor it is to pray for each other. That we can go before the God of Creation on behalf of someone’s needs and that He hears us. The God who placed the sun, moon, and stars hears our every need and the still small voice of our heart. It brings tears when a body studies on it.
Love and prayers to all!
Debbie, I will keep praying for your cousin. I’m sorry the news is so grim.
I agree. Does my heart good, to see cars pull over for a funeral procession.
I agree Tipper. I hope that people don’t forget to use their responsibility to stop for a few minutes or seconds to show respect. I’ve sat up with the dead, cooked food for families, had male members dig the grave. If those people had that love and respect shown to them I believe they’d show it back. I pray they would.
I can remember when many of these things were done in my area. When the bodies would be brought home and not left at the funeral home, men would sit up during the night with the body and family. When people came to visit the family they would usually bring food. As for cars pulling over, I don’t see that done anymore. If on a 4 lane road many people will now just pass a funeral procession, they are in too big of a hurry to wait. At one time in my area it was a common practice for law enforcement to block intersections for funeral processions, now this is no longer done. I have noticed it seems like the 18 wheeler truck drivers show more respect than the ones driving cars. As more and more of older “natives” pass away and more and more “outsiders” move in, we are losing more of our traditions.
I agree with you and it’s a shame. I am one of those transplants, back in 1993 I came down here to work in the furniture industry. However, instead of bringing with me everything that I did not like about the Northeast, I changed and adapted to the ways here in the South. I was awestruck the first time I saw people pull over for a funeral, that doesn’t happen up North. It was such a touching tribute and 31 years later, yes I do pull over, and yes I do remove my hat. I’ve learned a lot from people in the south, much to my betterment.
Peter, I didn’t write what I did to hurt anyone’s feelings. I like to tease and say “By the grace of God, I was born Southern.” I was born in 1954 and was raised and have lived in the country all of my life – nearest small country town is 15 miles away. I worked and was and still am friends with people from the North and other areas. We would often tease each other (all in fun) about our different ways. I am glad people like you decided to stay. This has to do with adopting our ways, a dear friend to all of us at my church is from Michigan. He likes to say “I am no longer a Yankee, I now eat grits!” Many southern traditions have changed in my lifetime, it seems many of them in last 10-20 years.