My Grandma Della Carter Stephens Bruce (she was married twice) was only about 5 foot 4 inches or so tall with brown eyes and dark brown, nearly black hair which she wore in a braid wrapped around her head. We think she was part Indian. As a single mother during the Depression she walked miles through the woods to do people’s laundry for fifty cents. To help feed her four children she took up squirrel hunting, carrying the overalls she wore under her arm until she got out of sight in the woods. Besides being a hunter, she was a gatherer of wild fruits and herbs of all kinds, walking a mile or more from home to gather huckleberries, blackberries, peaches, walnuts, hickory nuts and greens. And then she had about a half-acre of garden which she tended with just a hoe except for the initial plowing. It was far more than she needed for just herself but she gave it away first as fresh vegetables then as canned goods.
My two favorite things that she fixed was a chewy gingerbread and dry apple stack cake. One or the other, sometimes both, could usually be found under the cake cover on top of the old wooden Gibson ice box. But she also made the grandboys shirts out of the cotton feed sacks. She wouldn’t give just one of us one. She had to have one for both my brother and I before we got it. I was baptised in 1966 in a blue and white gingham shirt she made for me.
One of her expressions was to say of someone’s bad judgment that they would “suck sweet sorrow” as a consequence. She said “hope” for “help” as in “Law, if I’d a knowed you was a doing that I’d a come over and hoped ye.”
She hoed her garden in the mornings for two or three hours. Once when a visiting preacher was staying with us, across the hollow from her place, she was mistaken and hoed the garden on Sunday morning. When we told her, she looked thunderstruck and said, “Law, don’t tell the preacher.” In the main though, she was rather quiet and unemotional.
When she died at age 92 I think it was, her hair was still not yet completely gray. I miss her. She was as good as gold to my brother and I. God grant that I may leave as many and as good memories with my own grandchildren.
—Ron Stephens 2016
I wish I had known Ron’s Grandma Della and like Ron I hope I leave as many good memories with my grandchildren.
Last night’s video: Come Along to Satterfield’s Briarpatch Greenhouse And Nursery with Me!
Tipper
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As the oldest grandchild, I was blessed with an abundance of grandparents, all four of my own plus four of my great grandparents. The grandmothers were the best. One great grandfather ran off with another woman, leaving Ma with four children under twelve. One grandfather had anger issues just like his son, my dad. I was newly turned six when he died and had fortunately experienced only his better side. The other grandfather molested one family member and made moves on two others that I know of. The only good thing I remember about him was his knowledge of the stars. Now my grammas and great grammas, that’s another story. These were tough ladies. One raised eight children, four boys and four girls. The one whose roving husband left her with four kids did well for herself and them and raised a child her ex-husband had out of wedlock and not with the woman he ran off with. My Gramma, age 12, helped raise the younger ones. She eventually went to business college, had a career, ran everything she was involved with, and served on President Carter’s Council on Aging. My best ever Gram, after retirement, got her high school diploma, studied German and Spanish, took a bus trip around the US, went by herself to the World’s Fair, learned to play the accordion, and became a Braille transcriber. I’ve often said I come from a line of long lived and stubborn old ladies, and it’s a wonderful heritage.
What lovely memories Ron had of his grandma. Tipper I’m sure you and Matt will leave plenty of beautiful memories with your grand babies.
I never did get to see my grandmother or grandfather on my dad’s side. They had already passed. I did get to meet my granddaddy and grandma on momma’s side. when my granddaddy passed, he use to sat in this chair made out of grass string near the window. He would twiddle his thumbs forward and backwards. Grandma gave me that chair he sat in. When our house burnt down it was on the porch and of course it got burnt to. I miss them.
What sweet memories I have of both my grandmothers. They were such a blessing in my life. And like others I hope my grandson will have good memories of me. Also so enjoyed little Quency and the trip to Satterfield’s. He was as enjoyable as looking at all the plants. It seems like it so rare for a young boy to be so knowledgeable and polite these days. Blessings to you and your family on Mother’s day 2024.
My hubby was so lucky to live next door to his paternal grandparents. He played, ate, worked, and slept there many nights. He credits his grandpap with his ability and willingness to do hard work. They plowed and planted the garden together, mowed the yards and a couple cemeteries together and even dug a well by hand once. Grandpap also took him to his ball games and waited on him while he played. His Grandma always kept him well fed with her wonderful Italian spaghetti and meatballs, lasagna, roasted chicken, and homemade bread. It was a place he felt needed and loved. I never had a close relationship like that with my grandparents—It was a place to visit and sit while grownups talked. Hubby and I are so blessed to spend lots of time with each of our five grandchildren-playing, gardening, teaching and learning from them- making memories. They know Pap and Grammy’s house is a place where they feel loved and welcomed -and where there’s always something good to eat!
I spent a lot of time with all four of my grandparents as well as one great grandmother and a step great grandmother. I lived with my mother’s parents for about two years after leaving home to find work. I have good memories of all of them. Some days I can remember them better than I can remember what happened yesterday. My doctor says that’s normal, “considering your age.” I don’t have grandchildren but have loved and cared for babies and young children from more than forty countries and still do so on a limited basis. {one at a time}
THANKS! ONE OF MY FONDEST MEMORIES OF MY GRANDMOTHER IS THE TRIP TO APPALACHIA
I MADE WITH HER IN THE 90’S BEFORE SHE PASSED AWAY IN 2001. I HAVE MANY GREAT MEMORIES AND PICTURES OF THAT TRIP.
What sweet memories Ron and many others have of their grandmothers. I do not have sweet memories like that. My mother’s mom passed away the year I was born. My mom’s dad had remarried so I did know her. Everyone called her Margaret as did I until around 5 years old and I called her Grandma. She quickly told me she was not my grandmother. I was never to call her that and she was only Margaret to me who happened to be married to my grandfather. My dad’s mom was called Mawmaw. She was very old when I came along and she was very reserved. She never played or taught us kids anything like most grandmothers do. She expected us to be seen and not heard. We were to serve her but she never served anyone that I could ever remember, not even my Pawpaw. So when I became a grandmother I was determined to be the grandparent my granddaughter would have great memories with. I watched her for two years while my daughter and son in-law worked. We danced, played what ever games she wanted to play. I taught her how to sew, let her help cook in what ever I was cooking or baking when she was at my house which was very often even after her mom was laid off from work before deciding to be a stay at home mom until she started school full time. I taught her about Jesus, took her to church, read lots of books to her, loved her when she was hurt from a fall or nursed her when she was sick. We built forts with blankets, tables and chairs. We dressed up had tea parties, took outside adventures in my back yard and I took her along with her mom (my daughter) on Girl Trips to the beach, visit families, different zoos, went as a family to Disney and one year before Covid to Washington DC. We had great times and I hope she will remember the fun we had. She’s a teenager now and it’s not cool to hang out with old Mawmaw anymore and I get it. I still remember my teenage years as well as my daughter’s. I still see her every chance I get, still try to do things with her like shopping and tell her every time I talk to her how much I love her. I just hope one day she will look back and remember me as loving, kind, encouraging, faithful, creative, fun, helpful and was truly happy to be her grandmother.
Oh, the love of a grandparent! Ours didn’t have much money but their unconditional love and wisdom made up for it. My husband and I still talk about our grandparents with such fond memories, and now that we are grandparents, we pray we will also leave behind wonderful memories. Grandchildren are one of life’s greatest gifts.
Memories of grandma’s are so precious and Ron certainly has them. What a great post today!
My granny’s name was Myrtle, alone most of her life, but was very self sufficient. When I would go visit there she sit in her front porch swing just grining! We’d be talking and she’d say “do you think you could carry me to town”? So off to Lake City we’d go! Granny couldn’t read but she always knew what box her rouge and hair net were in at the dime store! When we got back home she’d try to give me gas money..no granny I don’t need it..no here take it..it was two quarters! Back then .50 would buy a tank! Those memories are precious. I’m so glad my adult children remember their great grandmother Myrtle.
Sweet memories!
My grandma, Mammy, had eleven children and seventy-six grandchildren. If anyone should ask the grandchildren who was one of the most influential people in their life they would say, Mammy. She was half-Cherokee Indian and passed her genetic traits and cultural knowledge to all of her children. She was known for her ‘doctoring’ skills that could outdo any modern-day medicine. My other grandma died when I was six. I remember her being so sweet and quiet. Daddy was just like his sweet mommy.
What a wonderful, sweet memory he has of his grandmother. The way he described the way she wore her hair sounded like the way my great-grandmother wore hers for many years.
Thank you, Tipper, for sharing such lovely memories with us. May God help you make memories as sweet with your children, grandchildren and great grandchildren.
I do love the posts about grandmas and other matrons of the family. There’s just something about a mountain grandma. When I was little my grandma would take me on trips back to her people. My great aunt Ruby lived in the hollers with a creek running by across the road and she was as good as a granny. She had the sweetest little voice, white hair up in a bun and the brownest skin from being in the garden so much. She’d sit out in that garden and talk to the garden snakes the way most people talk to their dogs. I think of her an awful lot.
At the risk of sounding pedantic, I think her use of “hope” for the past tense of “help” is a leftover of the old English pronunciations. “Holp” was the past tense of help about the time this country was being settled. Another example of old speech patterns holding on in this area. Sad that they aren’t recognized or appreciated for what they are.
Yep – found in the KJV Bible and the 1928 Anglican prayer book – as in Luke 1:54.
I had only one grandparent left by the time I was born, the 6th of 7 kids and my parents were both among the younger kids in their families. My grandmother was 5′ tall and wore a size 2 1/2 EEEE shoe. She was what I like to call andl “indifferent housekeeper”, which has passed down to me and at least one if my nieces. We just have other things we care more about doing. Grandma used to hire herself out to clean for the more well-to-do neighbors outside their holler. When she’d get home, my grandfather would say, “why don’t you clean your own house?” she replied, “Because you don’t pay me to.”
Am I correct in thinking that “Law” as Ron’s grandmother used it, was a euphemism for Lord? I’ve heard “Law me!” and “Lawsy me!” and “They law . . .” used similarly in times past. Not so much anymore, if at all. Euphemisms come in handy in situations when we can’t use the exclamation that first comes to mind, as when we hit our finger with a hammer.
Gene, I have heard people say all of the “law” words along with hoped instead of help. A question for you, what kind of words do you say when you hit your finger with a hammer.? I just say goodness gracious that sure will feel good when it quits hurting, maybe along with a few other words too!
A good woman! On video last pm at nursery was great. That little boy was cute and very knowledgeable of the plants! I wish I had his energy!
I had one grandma, my mother’s mother. She was 60 when I was born, and mom says she helped to take care of me the first 4 1/2 yrs. of my life until we moved to Ohio. I have a few memories of her like helping her to churn butter but not many more. I only saw her once a year after that when we visited back in Ky. She died when I was nineteen. Mom says I called her Mamaw. Mamaw was shorter than mom, about 5′ 5, mom is 5’8, which I am also. Mom’s dad died when she was sixteen. Dad’s parents died when he was eight and eleven, so I didn’t get a chance to know them of course. I missed not having grandparents around growing up. Those of you who did were so blessed. I guess that’s why my favorite age group to nurse were the elderly. They had so many experiences to talk about, so much wisdom. I enjoyed watching the video you made of visiting Satterfield’s yesterday. I love flowers. We have five Knockout rose bushes which are in full bloom and will be until it frosts. They are red and very hardy. I enjoy roses but I haven’t had good experiences with regular rose bushes. The deer like them too. I had a tree rose once which was beautiful, but the deer ate the flowers and left a few inches of a stub. They don’t bother the knockout rose bushes, at least not yet. Happy gardening.
Ron’s Grandma sounds quite strong and resilient! I enjoyed reading those memories he has. I enjoyed last night’s video shopping at Satterfield’s and seeing all that they have to offer. Some really gorgeous plants! Quincy is quite the salesman and knows those plants too.
I so enjoyed this beautiful look into Miss Della’s life well lived. The biggest problem I see around me is the fact most people are totally disconnected from nature and could not survive without modern utilities. I think about these things being gone and how I would react as people went mad and became desperate around me. Miss Della was a strong a black mother bear in my opinion and used every skill and sense she had to survive! I’d love to set with her a spell, hold her precious hand, just listen to her and learn, and enjoy a piece of her gingerbread or apple cake. I’m sure they were the best one could ever eat!! The old ways may just make a come back if it all keeps going the way it is….the old times were Good times and the best of times really!!!! Thanks Tipper-loved it very much. Will study on Della as I go on my way today…
My grandmother was one of the most talented people I ever knew. She was a fine artist and also taught painting at an art institute. She made/crocheted lace tablecloths, all her drapes, hooked rugs, made us kids clothes and clothes for our dolls and stuffed animals–she made our stuffed animals. She made ice cream, pies, and cakes and always had one or two on hand. I loved her strawberry ice cream, and everytime I saw her up until she died, she and I would split a bottle of red cream soda. She was also the one who taught me to flower and vegetable garden. When she died I was 13, and now, at at age 70, I’m still not over losing her. She was extraordinary.
Thank you for helping me to find your blog! You know how much I loved and adored my grandparents. They taught me everything I needed to know to be a successful wife, mother and even in making financial decisions. One of them was very generous with money and the others didn’t have much money. I learned equal amounts from both of them but mostly I learned what true unconditional love was. How I still miss them after all these years. I pray that my grandchildren will feel that same amount of love.
What a beautiful remembrance of a life well lived. If only everyone had a story like that, what a different world we’d live in.
What a woman! I wish I had k own her as well.
Oh! The memories of Grandma, they are so sweet. I have such great memories of my two grandmas, they
are some of the sweetest times.
I truly enjoyed your trip to Satterfield’s yesterday, the flowers are gorgeous! I believe those roses will look great along your stairs. Continued prayers for Granny and all of you and yours.
I could write a book about my grandparents both my paternal and maternal. I loved them all, each of them were good to me in their own way. They were poor and could not give me material things but left no doubt about loving me. I know my our grandsons loved my wife-their grandmother and I have actually prayed that they will love and remember me as much as I love and remember my Grandaddy Kirby, I worshipped the ground he walked on and spent every minute I could with him. I was blessed to know my wife’s my grandparents (all 4 of them) when I was growing up and remember how good they were to me when I was around them at church. My grandsons are both grown, but I call or text them everyday and tell them I love them.