The week after Granny died I didn’t do much other than take care of things relating to her death and attend the funeral.
One day I laid on the couch the entire day! That’s just all the strength I could muster.
I had other things in mind when I got up that morning. But after breakfast I set in the floor by our little electric heater and then found myself going straight to the couch where I stayed under a cover the rest of the day.
On another day I decided I’d go through my recipe drawer.
I have tons of cookbooks. Most of them are stored in our pantry. I keep a few that I use often in a kitchen drawer.
I have two of the girls’ old school notebooks that I use to keep track of recipes I cut out of magazines, print from online sites, or copy down from a friend or family member in that drawer too.
The drawer becomes very crowded as I continue to stuff recipes into it that I want to try until finally one day I force myself to go through and paste the recipes into my notebook cookbooks or discard them.
When I went through the drawer I was able to get rid of a lot of things by accepting I was never going to make the recipe. I did end up with a stack that I want to try at least once to see if they are keepers or not.
I made two recipes from the stack last week. They were definitely keepers! Matt deemed them among the best things I’ve ever made.
One of them was a carrot coffee cake with honey butter. I believe I’ve had the recipe since I worked at the college—that was about eight years ago!
As I read through the recipe I knew immediately why I was drawn to it, well other than the fact that I love carrot cakes and honey. The recipe only makes a small cake which is nice if you’re not cooking for a crowd.
The honey butter is optional. I started not to make it but figured why not so I did. The cake would be good without it but it sure takes it up a notch.
You can you see the recipe here. The website has an option to print it.
Since the two recipes I’ve saved for so long turned out well I’m anxious to try more from the stack.
Last night’s video: We Finally Finished One Side of the Shed.
Tipper
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Totally off-topic, but a fellow YouTuber named Lucile, a young Frenchwoman who does videos in English on cultural difference-type stuff, has you, Miss Tipper, as the example of what an Appalachian accent should sound like (“…to [her] untrained ear…”). She’s rating American accents as to their intelligibility to a non-first-language English speaker like her.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E62RTxtK6iI
She ranked you as initially middling as far as understandability went, but as she became more familiar with the accent, she now finds it “homey” like her own accent in her native French feels.
V.A., thank you so much for sharing that video! I had not seen it 🙂
This cake sounds delicious! I love the added bonus of it being small. I love trying new recipes and looking through cookbooks. I’ve mentioned to you before, my mom has been gone 19 years now. She loved to cook and had a large collection of cookbooks and recipes she collected over the years, which I still have. I especially love the ones she wrote by hand. I love looking through all of them and seeing her beautiful penmanship and knowing her hand rested on those pages. Grief is not easy and each person handles it differently, especially when it’s your mother. Take all the time you need. It never completely leaves, but the pain does ease. You remember all the wonderful memories and it helps get us through till we can be with them again. As always, love and prayers.
I appreciate everyone’s comments about my depression. I know what everyone says is true. Ron, I am trying to use my faith to help me. I compare my life now to being on a roller coaster, up one minute and down the next. I talked to a dear friend to me and my family this morning. I asked her about her uncle and a lifetime friend to me. His wife of 50 years died back at Thanksgiving, she said her uncle is just like me up one minute and down/sad the next minute. I think I read in one of the comments about someone breaking down after seeing someone that looked like her Daddy, after my Daddy died in 1991, I saw someone that looked so much like my Daddy in a Bilo grocery store, it was all I could do to keep from hugging him. After my daughter’s death I saw someone that looked that looked liked her at Sears while I was in the shoe department, I set down on a bench and cried. Please be assured NO ONE has said anything in their comments to upset or offend me. I love and care about all of you, the BP&A is one of the things I enjoy. KIM, I have also been taking medication for blood pressure for a long time and now arthritis. I just feel like me taking a pill for my depression that comes from losing my wife is no different from someone else using a bottle of liquor for theirs.
Thank you for sharing the recipe Tipper ! That sounds so good ! I’m looking forward to trying that !
Love & prayers for you all !
This cake looks fabulous! On the topic of depression, I can say as a retired healthcare practitioner, it is a very real condition made of many causes. It is also treatable and no one should feel ashamed to see their provider, just the same as you seek treatment for diabetes, high blood pressure, gout or a broken bone. The loss of a loved one is an example of a crushing, life changing event and sadness and grief is normal at this time , but sometimes it lingers and may precipitate a bout of depression which may indeed require medication therapy. Depression can be caused by traumatic life events, chemical imbalances in the body, family history, and sometimes unknown reasons. There are some excellent choices of antidepressants available. These medications do not cause sedation, confusion or a high.Some people only need treatment for a short time, others may need a longer course of treatment. I encourage anyone who feels they might be depressed, feeling worthless, have nothing to live for, find themselves crying frequently, not socializing with friends at all, or not finding any enjoyment in activities you once did, to please speak to your practitioner at once about possible treatment.
Morning everyone. We all handle grief differently. I don’t think there is a wrong or right way to grieve. The problem is if we can’t find a way to go on. Last November was 1 year since my mom passed. I got teary eyed. She had lived 100years plus 1 month. Hated her life for most of her life. I don’t really miss her that much, she wasn’t always nice. My sister passed 15 years ago. She had an alcohol problem since she was 15. While we arranged her burial we all were laughing and recalling all the weird silly things my sister did. I felt bad and apologized to the funeral people. They said people grieve differently. We were remembering the good times not the bad with her. I was always “daddy’s girl”. When he died, I cried very little. Maybe a month later, my son and me went down the mountain to shop. We were living in the Calif. mountains then. 20 minutes down that mountain takes your mind off everything. We were in a store. I stood behind a man looking at canned soups. I noticed he was shorter and wearing a baseball hat like my dad. Out of the corner of my eye I saw my son walking very fast towards me. He’s a tall guy. He held me so tight. I’m telling him to let me go , what’s wrong. He looked pale, scared. He said “my face”. My face had tears rolling down my cheeks. Maybe I had been in shock for a month. I was missing everyone on Valentines Day. I asked my son about my meltdown 19 years ago. He says he still remembers it. I think I might be the type who misses people by how those people would want to be missed. My mom hated all the crying at funerals. My dad would want it quiet and alone. My sister would have loved the 2 funeral home men that came to the house. They looked like Mafia vampires. So Tipper, lay on the couch. You deserve it. Randy I hope you can find a little peace. Me I keep busy. Anna from Arkansas.
That sound so good. I love the cake part of a carrot cake but I really don’t like cream cheese frosting. So this is perfect and I love honey butter.
We all grieve in our on way. The Lord will carry you through it as you already know.
The day I found out about Granny I ask The Lord for a word and this is what He gave me. It is from my daily devotional.
2Timothy 4 :6-8
For I already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come.
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith; in the future there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that day; and not only me, but also to all who have loved His appearing.
This was my devotional on the day she passed away.
Love to you and your family.
Howdy from Texas, Tipper!
Have you explored a computer app called Paprika? It’s an app that stores recipes. I found it because we live in a place so small that we had to rid ourselves of many things including more than a half-century worth of cookbooks and recipes. They simply took up too much space. The Paprika app, OTOH, takes up no more space no matter how many recipes it contains. I put all new recipes in it and old ones when I refer to them or use them. I’ve also added a few more ‘just because.’ Another advantage is that I can print the recipes if I want to, use the printed page then toss it knowing that the information is safely stored. Of course, I can use my iPad, laptop, or iPhone to see the recipe while I’m cooking, which takes less space than a cookbook on the countertop.
Robert, that is great! Katie uses that one or something similar and she loves it too 🙂
Randy, I don’t think any of us acorns are tired of you expressing your pain in your comments. I would urge you to get medication for your depression. Depression is very real & affects us physically & mentally. I say this because when my son was killed in a car accident, I could not have made it without medication. I refused medication for 8 months after his death & then I totally broke, ended up at the ER. Medication brought me back to this world. Not to say I don’t miss my son terribly, but the medication makes life worth living again. We don’t need to continue to self torture ourselves when there is medication that can help us. I finally found that out. Tipper and family, my prayers continue for you all as you navigate through your grief. Love to you all
This looks delicious! I also have many cookbooks and through the years I have cut out recipes, written down ones from family and friends and I definitely need to take a day and organize them myself.
Continued prayers for you and all of your family and praying that sweet little Woody can get those teeth to come on in. I know he’s miserable and I also am praying that Corie gets to feeling better. When my son was cutting teeth, someone told me that if I tied a pair of his little socks together and hung them over his door where he slept, that it would stop the pain and the teeth would come through. Well, I was so desperate that I tried it. It didn’t work. Those eye teeth can be so hard to cut for some children.
Hi Tipper, I to have many cookbooks and a few binders full of recipes I’ve printed off or wrote down on scraps of paper. Many of my mom’s recipes. We’ve had contractors in for a couple of weeks doing some work in our kitchen so I’ve made sure they get fresh baking every couple of days. Last week I made your ‘fresh apple cake’ from your cookbook and they loved it! I’ve made it a couple of times now and it’s a hit with everyone. Carrot cake is my husband’s favorite cake so I’ll be making this recipe today. My mother passed away in 2014 and grief still overwhelms me many days. I still get the incredible urge to call her and chat on the phone, even after all these years. I don’t think grief ever truly leaves us. I’m just happy I have so many wonderful memories of her to draw on.
Have a great day everyone! It’s snowing here in central Alberta and we’re back to freezing cold temperatures, brrr
Tipper – I also am a recipe collector – and too often my drawers won’t shut because there are too many papers of ‘saved for future use’ recipes packed in the space. I procrastinate in ‘dealing with it’ until it is no longer possible to cram another bit of paper in the drawers. Then comes hours of trying to make the decision of keep or toss. Oh, the challenge that is! I don’t know why a recipe is so difficult to get rid of! It is not like one cannot find any recipe one wants online in these days of modern technology where everything is just a key press away. And the crazy thing is I am a widow and a long-time empty nester so just me, myself and I here to cook, for and my health and allergies cause me to eat very ‘clean’ so no sweets allowed so can’t even make and eat any of them myself. But in my defense, I do bake for my buildings staff each week, and my church’s staff weekly meetings, and do bake and mail ‘care packages’ to my children and their families. I like looking for a ‘new’ recipe to try for that, as well as keep the tried and true and favorites. It was good to see you & Matt making a comeback to doing tasks around the homestead last evening but also understand fully the being unable to ‘do’ after Granny’s departure for ‘higher ground.’ That is very important to be doing at this time of sadness and missing. Be gentle with self and let the heart lead for a time.
This Carrot Coffee cake looks delicious. Prayers continue for you and all your family.
I LOVE trying new recipes and reading cookbooks. I’m actually running out of room for them in my kitchen. Might have to start a spot in the pantry! Cooking and baking and being in my kitchen make me so happy. Chances are, if you know me, you’ve received a meal or at least a sweet treat from me. I love to feed people and share food. I consider it me “meal ministry.” In life there is so much we cannot do to help when someone is suffering, but we can feed them! ❤️ So many now can’t cook or bake due to age, life’s busyness, etc. I’m second oldest of 7 and my mom was from a family of 18, so I think cooking a lot just comes naturally. I love to make nice meals and gather my little family around the table. My husband is a lot like Matt and always enthusiastically appreciates what I make. It’s so heartwarming! Anyway, I am really looking forward to trying this recipe (my family loves honey butter!) and I love your cooking and baking videos. 🙂 Thank you for sharing them all with us!
Allie, I read this a day or so ago, my wife treats me like I am a god, every thing she cooks for me is a burnt offering!
Randy- that comment is so funny. When we were first married, my husband used to joke that he knew dinner was ready when he smelled something burning. LOL! It was quite often true. That was back when I had two little ones, and I was trying to do too many things at once. He always appreciated, and ate everything I made…and never complained. He is so easy to cook for. He likes everything …and now he brags about my cooking and baking to everyone who will listen!
Thanks for making me smile today Randy. I’m so glad you’re part of this wonderful community. I enjoy your daily comments.
The recipe sounds yummy. Enjoyed tje video. when my parents passed I was just the opposite. I had to get back to work. When my mom died suddenly in a fire, my boss, a very kind man, told me I should stay home longer than the usual bereavement tine of 3 days. I said no. I think sone people thought I was either out of my mind or callus. It was my why of dealing with the pain. I did the same thing when my dad died 10 years later. my whole family did the same thing…back to work. God puts us where we need to be to help us cope with our sorrows. It did me good to work and it did you good to rest on the couch. I was happy to see you two working and talking together last night. It did ME, good!
Hope for the believer:
John 14:6
1Thessalonians 4:13-14
Continuing to pray for you
So happy to hear from you this morning! Very foggy here. Suppose to get to 50! Your cake looks delicious! I’m baking an Angel food cake today for my husbands birthday. It’s his favorite. Have a wonderful day. Blessings
I have lots of recipes too. I am subscribed to quite a few food blogs and when I see a recipe I like I copy it to my Recipe File in Word. I print it out if it looks like it may be good and make it. I also have a few loose recipes in binders that I’ve had for years. Your carrot coffee cake recipe looks good. I have copied it and will make it soon. Yesterday was my 77th birthday. I made a Lemon pound cake with confectioners icing. It was good but heavy. My three children wished me happy birthday, my younger son dropped by and brought me a pink amaryllis which is beautiful, my older son texted me and my daughter called from work. God and family are what helps me get through life. But there are days when I’m down too. I spoke with my 96 year old mother on my birthday too. She is doing well, better than me maybe. I have rheumatoid arthritis and its been acting up lately where I can’t use my hands. I enjoyed your program last evening, Tipper. God bless you, Matt, and your family.
Happy happy birthday! That cake sounds amazing!
Good morning!!!
I absolutely love recipes and cookbooks. I love finding recipes from Mama and my aunts. True treasures!!!
God’s blessings and grace on each of you as you grieve and miss Granny. Some days and places are harder than others.
Good morning Tipper, Matt, Paul and Acorns. I enjoyed last night’s video. Your ending up on the couch made me think of when our Fred was killed at Fort Hood, TX. Ed and I took to our beds for around 3 days. It is all sort of a blur really. The exhaustion and grief just took over. I came out of it first and Ed took a few months but still hasn’t recovered. They were best friends, soulmates, brothers. All we really have of him is our memories. The 28th of January was Ed’s 43 birthday. Mama always made him a carrot cake. We would go to their house and have lunch and cake one day that week. I’ve been making the cake for about 12 yrs now. Four or five yrs ago I got the idea to make cookies, then brownies and coffee cake with a carrot cake boxed cake mix. This year it was a 9×9 snack cake with no frosting or topping. It was kind of sad with so much sickness here. The day always reminds me of the day he was born. Daddy took me to the hospital in Boone, NC and we had to follow the snowplow to the NC state line. The snow on the side of the road was piled up even with the bottom of my window in the car. We were in for a long wait at the hospital because my labor would not progress so I sent Daddy back home to Mama and my 6 yr old daughter, Ann. It was unusual for a second baby to cause a long labor but that was normal for me. If anything rare or unusual can happen I’ll have it. After 2 hours of walking the hospital halls to try to move things alone I went to bed on a stretcher in the ER. I fell asleep and was still in labor. I didn’t feel any pain but the nurses said tears streamed down my face as I slept. 4 hours later They took me to the delivery room and a nurse had to tell me when I was having a pain and to push. At one point I heard someone say, “She has no heartbeat.” They meant me, I thought it was funny at first and could see what was going on in the room. I didn’t want them to do anything to hurt my baby or me so I “woke up.” It was a wild day for sure. I keep everyone here and up Wilson Hollow in my prayers. I love y’all.
Good Monday mornin’! I love carrot cake. I just cheated and bought my mama a carrot cake from Kroger last month for her birthday. It was mine too. I was actually my mom’s birthday present when she was 19. She had already been married 3 years before I came along. Anyway, back to the subject…this carrot cake looks and sounds delicious. Hubby and I watched your video together last night. He was very impressed with Matt’s knife. He had to get out a couple of his favorites and show me. He has a big knife collection, too, from over the years…some of which were his dads. Take care!
I have tons of cookbooks, too, including yours and Jim’s. When I get a new one I read it cover to cover. I’m always jotting down new recipes or doing a screenshot on my phone to jot down later which I seldom do. My old fashioned recipe boxes hold lots of favorite recipes and sweet memories of my mama.
The shed is looking good and filling up which is what you needed it for. You and Matt work well together on all your projects. I miss my helpmate handyman. Watching you and Matt reminds me of happier times.
The carrot cake looks good. I will try making it soon. Honey butter is good on anything, especially on biscuits.
Y’all take care. Prayers for your family and for sweet Woodrow to get those teeth through so he can feel better.
Tipper,
I sure wish I could tell you that the days get easier, but I lost Mom back in October and I still feel like there’s days that I just don’t have the strength to get up. Yet, I know she’d be very upset at me “wallerin” in my sadness. I know she’s not suffering anymore, but the selfish part of me still wants my Momma at 50 years old. So, I keep her alive by the things she left behind. The memories, the wisdom, all of the delicious recipes and so on. I lost Daddy in late April 2021, some days I can’t help but to feel like an orphan. Like you, I have a wonderful husband, children and grandbaby to brighten my days. It keeps me going, with the help of The Lord and knowing that my parents are reunited with ones gone on before them, just like Pap and Granny! You’re all always in my prayers. Sending love from a little further north in Appalachia…
P.S. The carrot coffee cake looks delicious!
Hi Tipper & Julie. Julie I’ve had same feelings. lost Dad in ’90, then only Brother in 10/16 & Mom 11/21. husband didn’t understand when I said I’m the only one left. he took it personal. but I could only describe as I’m last of my birthed family. everyone about me has gone on to Heaven. God does ease the pain and you remember the good and happy time with them and what’s to come. it’s the life changing and aging that hurts but without God the pain would be worse. love and prayers to all ❤️. And Tipper been cleaning out recipes too. when you kept them they look or sound good, but when you take a good look at some you just know it’s not a keeper. going to give the carrot cake a try! Thanks for all for the blessings you are to all of us!
We watched your video last night and it was good to see you and Matt up and about. We love how down to earth both of you are. You’ll have those days where you don’t want to do anything but curl up on the couch and that’s ok. Rest is part of the healing process and cooking can be part of that process as well as it takes our mind off of what we are going through. I made a bread pudding yesterday that is currently in the oven cooking as I type this. Our week last week was not an easy week, so yesterday we both woke up wiped out. As I put the bread pudding together yesterday, I felt some of the tension ease while I was concentrating on the recipe. So hopefully this is a good recipe as we eat breakfast this morning.
Denise, I hope this week is better!!
Denise, when I was a kid my grandmother made the best bread pudding I have ever ate. She died on February 12, 1968. In my comment I wrote about my sadness since my wife’s death, getting on my riding mower and cutting grass (about 6 acres, 4 yards) or doing something with my tractor helps me as much as anything. I also like to read and dearly enjoy spending time with my 3 boys as I call my son and 2 grandsons. Every one grieves differently, as long as I am not hurting anyone, I do whatever makes me feel better, and at my age couldn’t care less about what anyone else thinks.
The recipe sounds delicious…and easy. I’ll be trying this one.
There are times that call for a day on the couch or in the chair. I’m glad you took it! Many blessings!
I love you Wilson and Pressley family, God bless you very much,
Tipper, you laying on the couch the entire day and not having the strength to get up. It will soon be 5 years since my wife died. Since then there have been many many days I don’t feel like getting out of bed por find myself wishing I could run away or crawl in a hole somewhere that I can’t be found. I have lost my “ will to” as I call it. I feel like I am alive but no longer living. Many things I once enjoyed doing are now more like work than pleasure. I know many members are tired of me saying things like, I feel like I probably need to shut up and stop commenting. I want to do something simple this morning but feel/have anxiety about doing it. I know this is depression, and there is probably some type of medicine I could take to help, but I refuse to hide it with a pill.
God bless you Randy!!
You are always in my prayers Randy. I have learned that Happiness is a choice. I hope talking with us about your grief helps make it more bearable.
Randy, I’m so terribly sorry for your loss. Losing someone that we love will certainly take a toll on us. I don’t want to offend you by any means and we all have to do what we think is best for ourselves, but let me encourage you to take to your doctor and try some medication, at least for a little while. It doesn’t “hide” anything, but it fills in what is missing in our brain that helps to regulate our emotions. Sometimes we just need some extra help until we can get back to the new normal and that is totally ok. Please know that your wife would want you to get help because our loved ones wouldn’t want us to be struggling the rest of our life, and please give yourself permission to be happy again. It doesn’t mean that we have forgotten them or that we don’t love them just as much as we always have. Praying for you and asking God to help you find comfort and peace.
Randy,
I’m glad you’ve found Tipper & the acorns but please don’t let the antiquated stigma of medication for depression keep you from getting better. You’d use crutches to help yourself get around if you had a broken leg. Medication can help you heal this very real pain that is consuming your joy. I’ve lost friends and family to depression but I’ve also witnessed unspeakable joy in my heart as I’ve seen firsthand how (at the moment) my 2 cousins (one in his late 50s and another in her late 60s) journey back to their former selves. I cry with happy tears after we’re together because we lost their sister to depression. I hope this isn’t too long or too “bossy” lol but I feel your pain in your posts but I also feel the desire to enjoy life without pain. If it takes “a pill” to start the journey, so be it, if at some point you don’t need it, great! I’m not thrilled I’ve been on blood pressure meds since I was 44 (I’ve done everything possible to not need them but the switch stays flipped) but I’m grateful to them for keeping it in the perfect range nearly 24 years later. Please love yourself enough to get better. You’re worth it♡
Randy, it may not help but I have been pondering a bible verse (Acts 14:22) that says in part “..we must through much tribulation enter into the kingdom of God.” It is the “must” and the “much” that has my attention. First, it has to happen to us. Second, there has to be much of it. (Which brings us up against that most vexed question of all, Why?)
But it all works a purpose we do not necessarily get an explaination about.
Randy, just know that God loves you dearly and that he gave man the knowledge and provided the means to make the medicines we need to help us live our lives down here on this earth. There is no shame in having medical help. Your brain can get sick like any other part of your body. I hope you will take advantage of the help that is out there. God bless.
Randy, I always enjoy your posts! I, too, didn’t want any medicine. I have always believed if the Lord brought me to it, He’d bring me through it…And He has! It has taken much study in the Word and a group called Griefshare. Bearing one another’s burden is a real thing. I went kicking and screaming and started to walk back out of the door, but the Lord nudged me on. It helped knowing there were others navigating the same ship. Before long I was laughing again, but it took over a year. I still have times of overwhelming grief, but now I can conquer it through Jesus. I believe there are different depths of pain. I do not know the loss of a child outside of the womb. I believe that and a spouse is different, but we all grieve differently and it’s ok. I was told I just needed to move on. I couldn’t. I now know it’s a process and sometimes it takes a long time. I pray you continue to share your good times and hard times with us. I always look for you even if I don’t post my own thoughts. Many blessings to you!!