Paul, Tipper, Granny Gazzie, and Steve
Earlier this week Chatter and I were staying with Granny for a few hours. We’d no more than walked in the door and set our stuff down before I heard Granny tell Chatter “I want you to come in the back room with me I’ve got something to show you.”
I smiled because I knew what was coming next. She told me “Tipper you just sit down right there and rest and we’ll be back in a minute.”
In other words Granny didn’t want me coming with them because she was up to something.
I sat on the couch and thought back to all the times Granny’s mother, Gazzie, told me to come to the back room with her. She did the same thing individually with all her grandkids.
When Gazzie took me to one of the back rooms it was usually to give me a small gift. At Christmas it would be a poke filled with an orange, apple, and a couple sticks of candy. Sometimes the bag even had a dollar in it.
While I thought of Gazzie and smiled over her daughter doing the same thing I was struck not only by the sweetness of the moment but also by the fact that taking someone to the back room was an Appalachian trait.
Most folks from Appalachia give generously to their family as well as others, but they want to do it in private away from folks who might judge them or who might praise them in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable. And most Appalachians highly value their privacy especially when it comes to their finances or lack thereof.
Last night’s video: 97 Year Old Appalachian Woman Talks about Education in the Mountains of Appalachia.
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How sweet….speaking of sweet….I am missing Miss Cindy’s comments. Pray all is well with her.
Blessings
Such special folks, much like my own family! ♥♥♥
That reminds me so much of my Aunt, my mom’s sister. She was a Godly woman. God rest her soul. I Don’t care hiw many times you would go to her house she would always offer you something to eat and drink. But what was so special was before you leave she would have prayer with you and always and I mean always give you a little nick nack of some kind. She was a real special woman.
Precious memories made that day. I remember as a a teenager my grandmother giving me a gift I still treasure. it was a dime that was from her birth year,1910, that she had kept from her childhood. I was the 2nd of 14 grandchildren and at 67 years old I still remember her giving me “her” dime.
Great pic – great share, Tipper! Brought back so many great memories. On very special occasions, that “dollar bill” that was slipped into your hand was a “silver dollar” worn almost slick but still a treasure from them to you. In my childhood home, the back room was called the “little room” as it was the smallest in our home.
My maternal Grandma ( who birthed 11 children) had a back room papered with newspapers. Room faced NW and needed all the insulation it could get. An iron
“ bed stid “ fully made up graced that room. Daffodils still mark the old home place.
Grammaw had a back room. Kids were not allowed in there at all and adults rarely. I don’t know what she was so secretive about but at time I speculated maybe a casket with bones in it. That casket turned out to be a sideboard that was as long as one wall. I never found out what was in it. Maybe money, jewels, gold or silver? Probably quilt tops and scraps!
Being the youngest child of a youngest child who was also something of a late bloomer, I never knew any of my grandparents. Those who lived were well into their 80s when I was born. I did have aunts and uncles who favored me with special treats, always delivered out of sight of others and my smiles their best thanks.
I always enjoy your interviews with Granny Hicks. I had a brother born the same year as she was, but he passed at 38. I do remember his stories of growing up the 2nd oldest in a family of 9. Mrs. Hicks probably had it harder than Charles did, but he had it hard enough including growing up in the Depression working a kitchen garden and milking the cows only to go to Germany as a combat infantryman before he was 20.
Thanks for sharing with us, Tipper. (Is Steve always that glum?)
Blessings to all.
Robert-not always 🙂 He was likely not wanting his picture made that day-probably would rather have been talking to someone that was visiting Granny Gazzie’s
Hi,
Tipper, your folks are so much like my folks. My grandma would always say, “Pauline go in the top drawer of that dresser in the BACK ROOM and get the little poke out I was going to give Kathy”.
It was always something she had picked out for all of her grandchildren to have as she individually saw them. Usually, something she made us or had saved from earlier days to pass down to us. Grandpa and Aunt Pauline loved to crochet after Grandma had died. Each one of them would TELL us individually as we sat on the sofa beside their chair “If you will get me some yarn that matches your couch, I’ll make you
a blanket to put on the back of your couch so you can cover up with it when you take to lay down.” I still have the blankets (afghans) and use them on my bed as cover when it gets really cold at night. Once again your folks are like mine: proud, hard-working, loving, and most of all private (It was nobody else’s business what they told individual family members). After the gifts or instructions were provided, the rest of the family would quietly ask, “What did you get?” Share information about what they had been given and how purdy our gift was. I have carried on this tradition unknowingly by sticking money into coat pockets, hiding gifts of serving pieces in knife drawers, and going to the bank and having the teller
put an extra $50.00 into a checking account without anyone knowing. At church, I am notorious too. When I see that something needs to be done that I can do I just do it. Nobody knows for sure but they tell me they like this or that like the Walmart daffodil silk flowers on the altar because it was spring and the cold had messed up all the ones at my mother’s old house. What would a church altar be without daffodils in March? Or the Jesus coloring books in the sanctuary to help children’s folks keep them focused on being quiet. It goes on and on. I feel sure that you, Chitter, Chatter, Matt, and Steve just like Granny will do the same thing as you see things you have that they will need or treasure.
Love you all so much for letting others know about the goodness of our culture.
Kathy Patterson
Wow Tipper, you must have some good genes, such an amazing resemblance to the twins! What a blessing!
Love the picture & story!
I appreciate your reading to us – I look forward to Fridays
What a beautiful memory! Makes me think of my mamaw. She used to call me to the back of the house to give me little gifts. They were often old photographs that she knew I would treasure. And Papaw waited until we were alone in the car to give me candy or a little bit of pocket money.
How sweet. All of our families are so much alike but we live 100’s of miles apart. Kathy Patterson
Love the picture and what a sweet story! I too also remember the “can you come to the back room; I’ve got something to show you.” That was a sure sign grandmama had a little something for me. It wasn’t much but it was priceless to me. One of the things I treasure the most is a sewing bag. She never owned a sewing box, but she made sewing bags, and she made me one to keep my thread and needles and things in and to this day, that is where my sewing things are kept. Every time I get it out, it puts a smile on my face.
The backroom in our house held the only bed that wasn’t used until company came to stay over night. The bed was made up with starched and ironed sheets and embordered pillow cases. The bed clothes might have been made with sewed together feed sacks, but company was sacred and they were treated with the best we had. There was an old round topped trunk that contained all the family treasures and a chifforobe with Sunday go to meeting clothes hung up with enough moth balls tucked inside to kill every moth within five miles. Backrooms were usually special places for sure. I loved this post!
OH MY……this story made me cry. The memories of my “Granny” are always with me.
Thanks for sharing!!!
Bridgette
Privacy and humility go hand in hand in our Appalachian culture. I recall my Grands slipping a dollar into our hands as we headed out the front door.
This is a beautiful description of a special gift – private, personal and filled with love. As it should be.
That is indeed a sweet memory for all three if you. You reminded me of something we did in the winter in the old (no longer with us) house. In real cold weather Mom hung quilts in the doorways to ‘keep the heat in’ the living room where the coal stove was. (We didn’t have plumbing so no worries about it freezing.) The ‘back rooms’ became cold storage where we could keep fruit and vegetables for awhile. Unlike your memory, however, we did not look forward to trips to ‘the back room(s)’. But that just how we spoke of it or them. At Grandma’s place – where there was plumbing – there was a door to shut off heat from two of the bedrooms. Going to bed in winter was a series of: toast > run > jump > shiver. Golly, I re-realize how thankful I should be for what is now common.
what a lovely tradition. my grandmother always gave gifts in private too. Not a back room, but come here I want to show you something
I never had a grandparent take me to the back room, but Daddy took me there on plenty of occasions. He had a special gift for me, and you can probably guess what it was.
I didn’t appreciate them at the time, but I sure enough do now. As David the psalmist wrote:
“They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold; they are sweeter than honey, than honey from the honeycomb.”
Don, I guess your Daddy’s back room and the proverbial woodshed were a lot a like. Like you my parents whipped or whooped me many times. At the time I was not happy about it, but now throughout the adult years of my life, I have thanked God many times for having parents that loved me enough to me to teach me the correct way to live my life. They not only did this by whipping me when I did wrong but by taking and going with me to church anytime there was service and showing me plenty of Love in between. I along with other kids walked the aisle many times at church, but it was to the front door and not the alter, it was pray meeting time, I did the praying while Mother did the preaching with a keen hickory switch! How long has it been since you saw anything like this while at church?
My tiny country Catholic Church had a little side vestibule entrance. My girls spent some “quality” time there as young ones. The younger of the two, especially, would act up in church and have to be taken out for some corrective measures. My younger sister enjoyed the same treatment when we were kids, but my dad would take her out to the parking lot/car. Once she learned that she could act up and get taken out, the spanking was worth the time spent sitting in the car & not in church. Then she made a habit out of it, until my dad had enough. So I skipped the car part & delivered the spanking in the vestibule. That was the way we were raised – you did NOT make a peep in church or fidget. YOu’d get an elbow deep up under your ribs. My kids were raised the same. I expected them to sit, be quiet & listen. We had a priest that did not have too much tolerance for children and I never wanted to be in the spotlight. I quickly learned that with my youngest, the problem was that she wanted to see everything that was going on – so I started sitting in the front row. Brave parent! And that corrected most bad behavior. NOW, kids do whatever they please in church & no one deals with it. They run up & down the aisle, cry, throw things, drop things over & over. Very distracting. Guess I am an ol’ fuddy dee duddy. When we went to the BIG Church with my grandparents, your behavior better be the tops. They went to Saturday evening Mass & if you were good, you’d get to go to Friendly’s for dinner after & get an ice cream sundae! That was special, because we never got to go out to eat. Miss time with my grandparents in church. Seemed like a cathedral, as a small child, but I went there not too long ago & realized that it really isn’t all that big.
Everybody had a “back room” and a “front room” when I was growing up in the ‘40’s & ‘50’s.
My grandmother had a bedroom that was used for guests. She always kept a few “things” put away in there for her many grand children. I am blessed to have been one of them.
I’m an only child, my mom from WV. Finding your page was like finding family. I remember the farm, the smokehouse, all of it because you and your family are do willing to share your lives. thank you.
Sweet memories and precious photo. Thank you for sharing.
It’s funny, I never saw that as an Appalachian trait, but now I see it. My mom did the very same thing. After us kids grew up and got married, every time we came to visit, mom would take each of us back to her room and gave us something. Then when we had children of our own, before leaving she would call our child back to her room and sometimes she even called us back to give us a couple of dollars. If we protested to take any kind of money, we would later find a couple of dollars in our coat pockets. She always found a way to send us home with something. What’s funnier is I realize I do the same with my daughter, granddaughter or other family members.
My mommy had a drawer beside her bed where she kept all her treats like orange circus peanuts, spearmint jellies, beech nut gum and candy bars. If there was special gossip or deep discussions, she would want the door closed. Just yesterday at the veterinarian office, when I paid my bill, I found myself counting money off to the side where no one could see me. What I have or don’t have ain’t nobody’s concern. If I want the world to know, I’ll go to Washington or take out a full page ad. Other than that it’s NUN YA… and I think you can guess the rest (dadblame beeswax.) Appalachians will talk about nothing all day long, but the deep talk and action is always reserved for trips to the back room. We are an odd bunch and I wouldn’t change a peculiar thing! I like us this way… so does everybody else- they’re just slow to brag us up.
When these older “grandparent” age people call you off to the side and give you something, it will usually be something that was very special to them and now they want to give it you as a way of showing their love for you. I have watched yesterday’s video and remember my grandmother cooking bread similar to the buttermilk biscuit bread. This is from a childhood memory, but she would take leftover dough from the day before and fry it in a cast iron round griddle type of frying pan- it had just enough “lip” to hold a little bit of grease. It would be like a large biscuit but fried instead of baked. She would cook this along with eggs and some type of pork meat and coffee on a small two eye coal heater for hers and granddaddy’s breakfast. I loved this bread if there was any left when I would be with. Since we lived beside them, this would be usually be for a while every day, especially with my granddaddy
Thanks for that sweet story and I could hear her say “come with me to the back room” clear as a bell. I’ve done that with my grandsons.
My late Granny had a back room in her house. There was generally a treat awaiting us if we were called to go to there with her too. My late Big Mom didn’t have a back room at her house because she lived in a 2 room house. I miss those special moments with my grands…
Blessings from Ohio!
I carry on this tradition. Some of my fondest memories is going to the back room. I have a quilt from my grandmother that was had by going to the back room. She didn’t always quilt for beauty, but of necessity. I have the only double wedding ring she made. Silly me used it for years as it made me feel close to her. She went home when I was only 22. I still miss her dearly. Thanks for sharing
Thanks for sharing…I know it is special. God Bless