The old: a 93 year old gentleman cleaned up in his pointer overalls, a faded long sleeved shirt with every button hole buttoned tight with an undershirt shining through underneath it all.
The young: a brand new baby only months old being passed from one to another while his mother worked to make sure everyone was taken care of and fed.
The middle: men and women not yet old, but not quite young either. Folks just the right age to see where they’ve been and to see clearly where they’re going.
The rest: children, teenagers, young adults, and folks beyond middle age-all spread out over 93 years of living.
The place: Appalachia.
—September 2015
Family plays such an important role in Appalachian culture. Even when it’s not your own immediate family—its still a family centered culture. We love to fit everyone we meet into the giant family tree we have growing in our heads. As we struggle to place your marker you’ll hear things like: “Who’s your daddy?” “Where’d you grow up at?” or “Who’s your people?”
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So the 93 year old is now 100.
The baby is in 2nd grade,
the rest are 7 years older and feeling it.
Who is the oldest now?
Does the baby have a younger sibling?
How many of the gathering are no longer with us?
Ed-sadly the 93 year old didn’t make it to 100. I’m not sure about who the oldest is now or how many others are gone 🙂
I absolutely love your videos. Your way of life is so heartwarming. Seeing your videos and way of life is feels like home to me. God Bless you , family and all those living that beautiful way of life!
Never saw older generations wearing overalls in my neck of the woods (not since the 30s anyway). My great-grandmother insisted on white button down shirts, paired with dickies-style work pants. Unfortunately, never had any family reunions either. The Dixon’s (my people) are fightin’ Irish. Been a major grudge going on in every single generation over the property that I live on. Folks been fighting over it for almost 200yrs. My mother’s family is huge and their mother died young, so every one split. I always thought family reunions would be a nice idea and those that have them sure are lucky! I don’t even know most of my 1st cousins, maternal side. And never see my cousins on paternal side. And as for churches/schools in my area, all of them keep closing & consolidating farther & farther away. Whereas I used to drive 2 miles to our little church, I now have to drive 1/2 hr. to one we got grouped with. Same with schools – they keep closing the outlying elementary schools & shipping them into the town. Our sense of community has completely disappeared. Very sad.
I’m the youngest in a family of 9 kids. My mother’s father lost his first wife and married a second and had children by both. I don’t even know how many cousins I have in that line.
My Pa (that’s him in the avatar) was the sixth and last son in his family. All of them had families with one aunt having 14 (I think) children who were all grown before I was born. I counted over 30 first cousins just on his side knowing that I was missing some. My grandmother had 17 grandchildren who served in WWII, most in combat roles. By the Grace of God, none were killed.
My daughter is an only child, but she has 21 first cousins.
We used to have a Hutchins family reunions at Tanglewood Park near Winston-Salem and would sometimes have over 100 people show up. While my mother’s family was from central NC near Raleigh, my Pa was born in Needmore in Swain County. I have no clue how many Tabor and DeHart cousins I have in and from that area.
Family, after Faith, was always important to us.
I was such a big part of a huge extended family. With so many of them gone, it is a time I have to make a special effort to concentrate on the ones remaining. I want the young ones to be happy and enjoy. but think they need to be familiar with their history. I remember when there was always an older person in households. sometimes even an uncle.
An absolute, Tipper; family was always so very important in Appalachian lives. Both my grandmothers were the keystone; both were not only adored by sons, daughters, grands, and greats – but, also their brothers and sisters. They always had someone in to check on them throughout their lifetime. Family gatherings were always a part of their and our lives.
Faith, Family and Friends. What more could we ask for?
Love it Tipper! ❤️
So miss those Decoration Day family reunions when we gathered at the church to clean and put fresh flowers on graves,
then (when I was very young) dinner on the grounds. Later it became dinner at my great-aunt and -uncle’s house and, oh, what good eatin’ that was! I miss the older generations that have passed and regret that my grandchildren and great-grands will not have that connection to us and our generation, nor those wonderful memories.
That was beautifully written and brings back so many memories of family gatherings, church family homecomings and close friends always around just sharing life together.
I remember being asked who’s your family, especially by who I thought at the time were older people. We were the only family with our last name in the town.
I am truly thankful to be a part of a loving Appalachian family.
I think I especially like “Who’s your people?” We identify ourselves by our people. My family moved from North Carolina to Texas when I was a newborn baby. We came home to visit once a year or so for the ten years we were gone. Then we moved back because it was home. I missed a lot of the “connecting”. I was never able to entirely connect.
Oh my gosh, ain’t it so. You do hear those things even today in this ‘modern day and time. Some of the others ones are, and seem just as important, where did you go to school, not do you go to church, but where do you go to church. That is the one that is more important to the middle to older generation rather than to all generations. There is nothing like a ‘dinner on the dirt’ or ‘dinner on the wire fence’ or the Church homecoming event. It is so sad to see some of the things that I have treasured most of my life not even being thought of in today’s world. I retired back in ’96 and have decided that in addition to attending just my high-school reunion, I have been hosting a reunion of those that have retired and those currently working at the organization where I was employed. We have drifted away from those that used to be so dear to us but need to remember, FAITH, FAMILY and FRIEND…those are the true treasures then and now. God Bless.
You hit the nail on the head when you said Faith, Family and Friends. To me these three things and in that order are the most important things you can ever have in life The message this morning is what I was trying to say when I answered Time to spend time with family and friends when Tipper asked the question of why you choose to live where you live. This has really been brought home to me during the last years of my life and makes me understand how true this is.The richest person in the world has nothing if these three things are not in his life..
I too loved reunions and organized them until my groups all got too old to travel. Some of us still keep in contact by email and phone. We build strong bonds around the table. That’s why my family had sit-down meals together. I see some young families around us eating and walking and watching tv independent of each other.
Luckily, not ALL younger families eat independently of each other. I have been very adamant, throughout my children’s younger years, to always eat together. We have our main meal at noon (dinner) so that my husband can eat a good meal before going to work on the swing shift. We all sit down & no one starts until everyone is present. The girls & I eat our supper together every evening. It is getting a bit harder now that both have part time jobs & hours that are opposite. But even if one is eating a fixed plate later on, I sit with them & have a cup of coffee. they always have some interesting stories about work & then they don’t have to eat alone. ALL kids that come to our house look forward to meal time – They love being listened to and getting their 2 cents in (plus, the food is pretty darn good). If we start going in different directions & missing meals together our family starts gettin off track. A good meal around the table on a regular basis will keep your kids out of trouble – the data proves me right on this one!
Tipper, I know you are writing about your area but this morning’s blog describes the way it was and still is to some extent in my area. I especially like the pointer overalls comment. My granddaddy along with a lot of other men all wore overalls and a faded cotton work shirt during the week. Many of them would wear a newer pair to the Wednesday night prayer meeting at my Baptist church. For some that may not know about pointer overalls, pointer was a brand name and their overalls would have a white label with the picture of a pointer bird dog in the center and near the top of the bib. Pointer brand overalls was one of the most popular brands.
This one comes home to me. I have always felt a sense of community being family, or at least I would like it to be. I find very few others that extend that kind of feeling. Many times I feel like I would have fit in better in earlier times when community was closer and we helped each other and we felt that sense of extended family.
Loved this! So true.
Donna. : )