collage of photos of tipper's family

“Fred’s family were frequent visitors, happy to have him near them again. I still didn’t feel comfortable around them. Maybe it was my own fault that we didn’t understand each other better. I was always quiet and reserved, in complete contrast to their boisterous, laughing manner. Mountain people didn’t say anything if they were not sure what to say. So, usually I said nothing. I always remembered a quote from Abraham Lincoln who said, “It’s better to keep your mouth shut and let people wonder if you’re a fool than to speak and prove you are.”

—Florence Cope Bush – Dorie Woman of the Mountains


The excerpt from the book reminds me of something Pap used to say: the quietest man in the room is usually the smartest. I’m certainly not the smartest by a country mile, but I’ve often been the quietest just because I was so backward when I was young. After I was grown my best friend’s step-father teased me that he didn’t even know I could talk till I was a senior in high school 🙂

Today’s Thankful November giveaway is a used copy of Dorie Woman of the Mountains written by Florence Cope Bush. Leave a comment on this post to be entered. *Giveaway ends November 28, 2023.

Last night’s video: Granny Rings the Bell & Thanksgiving 2023 at Celebrating Appalachia.

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87 Comments

  1. When I was a little girl my daddy told me it was best to keep my mouth shut and my ears open and I would learn a lot more. I took it to heart. That made sense to me so I’ve always followed his advice. It probably helped that I’m an introvert.

  2. We’re planning a trip to Appalachia next summer and it’s all because of you and your wonderful stories. Can’t wait to see your beloved countryside in person.

  3. This book was by far my favorite one that you have read on Celebrating Appalachia so far! My young daughter often requests for me to pull up the playlist on your channel and for us to Re-listen to it as we bustle about in the kitchen. Thank you for reading to us, Tipper! Glad you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

  4. Usually when I open my mouth I dive in with both feet.
    I loved hearing Dorie and would love to have a copy of my own.

  5. Unfortunately, I’ve never been known as the quiet one, and I’ve passed it down to many of my grandchildren. It’s all good until they all want to tell me something at the same time! Happy Thanksgiving!

  6. This post made me chuckle. Never thought of it this way but I would have to agree with both Abraham Lincoln and Pap.

  7. I think we all have a Thanksgiving hangover from too much good food, and I mean it was delicious!! I pray Granny will soon have better days. Y’all had a feast too. Love and prayers to all of you and Granny and Little Mama too.

  8. I was always the quiet one in the room as a child. People noticed, and made comments all the time, but somehow it made it worse. Now as an older woman I talk all the time, given the chance. I married a quiet Husband, so when we are around others I talk too much because it’s gotten a little lonely by ourselves.

  9. My dear father who lived to be 98 was so very quiet. I never ever heard him raise his voice at anyone. He was from a small mountain town in NC. WW2 vet. who helped liberate a concentration came in Germany. Made it back and worked hard all his life. He had an uncanny way with animals. I miss my quiet daddy very much.

  10. What a beautiful family get together y’all had Miss Tipper. And all the wonderful food. I nearly cried when y’all said Granny wasn’t up for it. Hopefully she’s better today. She deserves to feel better after all she’s been through. I know from having so many people go through what she’s been through. They had cancer and the treatments like Granny had. Being tired was one of the side effects along with so many other things. Give her my love and prayers, I know she’d rather been there than not. Katie was looking so good. She’s going to be a great mom. I felt sad I couldn’t be there. I wanted to be one of your family. Our family is so spread out we rarely get together anymore. I So miss family time. Sending love, blessings and prayers to you all. Jennifer

  11. My husband is most always the quietest person in the room no matter where we go—and, he is usually the smartest one, too…not bragging just stating a fact. I am very talkative, but only when I am knowledgeable on the subject being discussed. I definitely know when to remain quiet. God certainly made us all different and I might add He made us all different for good reasons.

  12. Tipper, since we were given 2 ears & 1 mouth says something, right? On another note, I’m still praying for Granny; glad to see her on video. She did look good! Her not feeling well enough to join family meal at your home spoke to me. I’m almost Granny’s age, have a son your age. My husband of 48 years passed away 8 years ago from cancer. Those treatments were very hard on him, especially the chemo, a rough 12 months & 1 week. The same for my father. Continue to pray for Granny, you & your family. Katie’s baby boy will be a great blessing to you.

  13. I used to be real quiet and shy but my friends can’t believe that now. LOL! I learned to walk when I was 7 months old so I guess I was concentrating on walking instead of talking.

  14. I grew up totally shy. Could hardly say my name out loud. Fast forward: I taught at Michigan State University and thought nothing of lecturing to 300 students at a time and even told an occasional joke during class.

  15. So happy to see Granny ring the bell; it certainly makes this Thanksgiving very special. Family gatherings are always memory maker’s; and your wonderful Appalachian meal made it even more so. Thanks for the share, Tipper; all seemed to enjoy each other’s company and the occasion. Life is good, my friend!

  16. I understand how you and Dorie felt, Tipper. While I’m more talkative now at 30 years old (though still an introvert), I was very shy in my younger years. I was often called”the quiet girl” in school. 🙂

  17. Another gem from Dorie Woman of the Mountains. My dad spoke when he had something to say, and those around learned to listen. Amazing wisdom found in some people who learned wisdom from everything around them. Mom’s family more loud and boisterous, but oh so much fun to be around. In my experience, mountain people can go overboard one way or the other. Regardless, most are just a joy. My dad left the county of his birth, and I later worked in the same area. I would come home with wild stories about funny happenings, and I would share them with him during our evening phone calls. The people in that county were very rooted in the old ways, and anyone who did not know them might label them as abrasive. I felt such a kinship with them that I understood and always considered them just “plain spoken” which I just considered a good quality.

  18. I’ve always been a quiet person. Listen and observe, that’s how I roll. My daughter took after her dad…she’ll blurt out just about anything that crosses her mind in front of whoever is around. Embarrassed me half to death many times lol.

  19. I was usually quiet when around people I didn’t know well. Once I was asked why I was so quiet and said, “Well, I read once that anything I might say was things I already knew. To learn I needed to hear what others had to say.” Someone in the group said that was very smart and asked what I had learned that day. I responded, “Not much from this bunch or at least nothing for later use.” A lady that had also been pretty quiet said, “That’s an even smarter statement that your first one.”

  20. We, too, decided to skip the traditional turkey dinner for a smoked Tri tip, cheesy scalloped potatoes, sautéed spinach, corn and tossed salad topped with raisins and sugared nuts. I stayed silent since I love turkey, but the menu turned to be a big hit with our guests and everything was delish. Silence is golden, right?!?!

    1. I’m kinda reserved around large groups and will always be on the outskirts for the most part. Recently attended a family reunion-type event and after a few hello’s to the ones I recognized, I sat down to rest and watch everyone else. It was a good day and not too loud. It was a good day.

  21. What gets me started talking around strangers is just getting the facts straight. Otherwise I’m an edge of the crowd kinda guy, like the fella in Acts sitting in the window. Even at that I have decided in my lifetime I have talked too much and said too little.

  22. My oldest brother and I was so bashful and backwards. We hardly even talked. We sure didn’t in school only if talked to. we were just talked that way. I love Abraham Lincoln. That’s a good saying. My dad said, don’t speak unless spoken to.

  23. Abe Lincoln’s quote was spot on but sometimes a girl just has to talk. I know when to keep my mouth shut also!

    Seeing your mother and other cancer patients ring the bell, always bring tears. Believe me it makes your heart happy!

  24. When I was young I was rarely quiet! In Dorie’s situation, it was probably my new in-laws who just listened to me gabber on – “the Yankee” they were probably and quietly thinking LOL. I loved the dressing Corie and Matt made last night, wow! I am definitely trying it! Hope all here had a day filled with blessings. Theresa in PA

  25. I think you learn more by listening, but I do enjoy meeting and talking with people. My husband is the quieter one, but he got that from his dad. Now my dad enjoyed talking with folks especially family. I remember one time he was trying to talk with one of his sisters and he finally said to her, “Floy, if you will just come up for air maybe I can finish what I was saying.” They both started laughing. I have also heard this, ” if you don’t have anything important to say, keep your mouth shut.” That would have never worked in my family.

    I enjoyed your video yesterday. Looked like everyone had such a good time. I was thrilled to see Granny ring the bell. She looks great and praying she continues to improve. Also, loved the girls video. It was so touching to see them perform “Miss Cindy’s Waltz.” You and Matt have raised wonderful daughters.

  26. Lovely, lovely video, Tipper. Thank you for sharing it with us.
    May God continue to comfort and strengthen you all.

  27. Hope y’all had a wonderful Thanksgiving! So happy Granny got to ring the bell! When I rang the bell I was so happy I yanked the handle plumb off the bell! They said that happens a lot. I would love a copy of the book. I have ancestry in Appalachia, but my faction of the family came West, so I grew up in the Rocky Mountains, but still feel a special kinship with Appalachia, and truly feel like I am your neighbor through your site and videos. God Bless each and every one!

  28. Great comment! There have been many times I wished I had just said nothing, but it worked out in the end so all is good. Hope y’all had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

  29. As a small child, I was much like you. I rarely spoke to people unless they were family. Equally, in my era, children were never to interrupt adult conversations but were to sit quietly if they intended to stay in the room. “Be quiet and be polite” was the rule of thumb back in those days.

  30. Morning, Tipper! Brisk morning here in Charlotte! I’m sure it’s more so up in the mountains where you are. Hope your family and my fellow subscribers had a great Thanksgiving. I want to thank you for mentioning the Louvin brothers. I may have misspelled their name, but you have mentioned them so often I finally checked them out several days ago and been listening to them ever since! LOVE their singing and spot on harmony. Just one more good feeling for me for discovering you and your U Tube, and your e mails several years ago!! What a warm and fuzzy feeling you must get when you think of the people you have introduced to the Appalachian area . Bless your heart, Tipper! God’s blessings on you and yours, especially Granny as she battles her cancer!

  31. I have to take a chance at winning this book, I loved listening to you read it so much.
    Looks like y’all had a wonderful Thanksgiving day! I loved the picture idea but didn’t have time to make holders so I just got out a couple of albums for the kids to look through. They loved seeing that their younger Papa looked so much like their daddy that they couldn’t tell them apart.
    We skipped the turkey this year and I made Chicken and homemade Noodles. I made four different batches of noodles throughout the week and put them in the freezer. It worked out really good.
    I am thankful for all of my blessings of this past year, one of which is getting to know my Blind Pig family even better. So thankful Granny has done well through her treatments, she looks so good in the video. Such a sweetheart. Thanks for sharing your Thanksgiving celebration with us.

    1. “A wise old owl lived in an oak;
      The more he saw, the less he spoke;
      The less he spoke, the more he heard;
      We should be more like that wise old bird.”

  32. The dressing recipe looks most intriguing. I’ve never thought to put mustard or vinegar in it. I do wish I knew what brands were used.** It makes a difference! My grandmother and mother made the best onion-celery bread dressing, but I never helped with it. I’ve tried for the past 60 years to make it and it never turns out right; There must have been some secret ingredient. I hate to say this, but Stove Top has the right taste, but not form.

    ** looks like Heinz yellow mustard and Bragg Apple Cider Vinegar????

  33. I learned in high school (8-12th) grade, no middle school, to sit in the back of each class, hopefully on the back row and keep quite. There was two advantages to doing this, the teacher wouldn’t call on you as much and I could check out all of the girls in class without getting noticed. I had a lot of one sided love affairs in high school, I loved them, but they didn’t love me. I was doing this at church one night when I was 17, my eyes locked in on my future wife and for the next 49 1/2 years they never left or saw anything that I thought was better. After her, they will never be anyone else. I would tease her and say God punished me for looking at the girls and not listening to the preacher. She would smile and give me her trademark grin.

  34. I’ve never been quiet. If I’m not as talkative as usual, those who know me will ask if I’m mad or not feeling well. Mom used to say shet your mouth or hush up.

  35. Happy thanksgiving Tipper.
    I am in between a listener and a talkative person. Depending on where I’m and the company I am with.

  36. Not from the mountains but growing up in Midwest as a young child, I kept my mouth shut, too. Even 75+ years later, I rarely speak in front of people that are strangers. After my Daddy died, life got quiet(er) for a while. He had ‘the gift of gab’. Ended up being married to a man that seemed awkward when it was quiet.

  37. “It’s better to keep your mouth shut and let people wonder if you’re a fool than to speak and prove you are.” That took me back to memories of my mom. She was mountain through and through and would often tell us that when we were growing up; especially if we were getting too big for our britches. Thank you for sparking that wonderful memory. Mountain folk are much smarter than the rest of the nation realizes.

  38. I love it every time you use excerpts from Dorie’s book. Maybe this time I’ll get lucky and win a copy! I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving.

  39. Hi Tipper
    The first thing I want to say is Granny looks great and so happy to see her ring that bell, Please God that mass has shrunk and she will continue on with good health. I was very quiet as a child and remember being painfully shy in school, I always admired the ones that could get up and talk or ask a question, as I got older I did come out of my shell and went on to work and doing courses at a college, even giving presentations but it didn’t happen overnight, I really don’t know how to put it but shyness in my case didn’t serve me well in my youth, I also heard the saying, watch out for the quiet ones because they are the worse, I had two children and I thank God they feel comfortable and confident and did not experience that crippling shyness , it was what I looked for in them as they were growing up, just wish in my younger years I had that too. Your Thanksgiving looked wonderful and Katie is glowing. God Bless you all.

  40. Tipper, I have been listening to you read aloud the Dorrie book. I listen to about an hour of the reading everyday when I’m doing my daily walk! My paternal grandparents were both raised in Kentucky and I imagine their life was similar to that of Dorrie’s. Thank you for sharing your happenings on YouTube! I purchased your cookbook and have been enjoying it!
    Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family.

  41. A wonderful message today! The words ring so true! Thank for another chance to win the wonderful book! I hope your family had a great Thanksgiving!

  42. Hope you and your family had a wonderful day yesterday. It sure looked like you did!! I am so happy about your mother. She is a strong woman and deserves to be around a little longer on this earth and to be healthy too! Bless you all!

  43. I know I learn a lot more when I use my ears instead of my mouth. I have never regretted listening—the only regrets I have ever had was saying something I couldn’t really take back.

  44. Here’s hoping everybody had a wonderfully blessed Thanksgiving! Mine was busy and I fell into bed exhausted, but in a great way, at about 8:30. Everybody loved Aunt Fay’s apple pie from your recipe book. I can’t lie about the walnut bread. My first problem was figuring out a Bundt pan is a tube pan. (I had a Bundt pan and ended up punting that sticking, adhering thing of aluminum out in the yard years ago.) So I ended up with 3 loaves of walnut bread. I kept thinking that’s a lot of eggs and flour for a loaf pan… I mean it’s tube shaped, right? I even called to the show me state and was told they thought it was a coffee can! Anyway, that bread is plumb delicious and the frosting is fantastic! Next time, I’m ready. Lol. God bless you, every one! I talk, but try to stay away from talking about folks in a bad way (except politicians.)

  45. I’ve never heard of any of the books you’ve been giving away, they sound very interesting and I would like to have one.
    I’m hoping everyone had a great Thanksgiving, family, friends and good food. Blessings to all

    1. Betty – if you’re not one of the winners, go to your local library (or Amazon) and get Dorie Woman of the Mountains and The Tall Woman by Wilma Dykeman. I promise you will not be disappointed.

      1. I have started buying many used books from eBay. The same used book sellers on Amazon will often be selling on eBay. It is a better deal because a lot of them have free shipping. I have bought many used books for less than $5 and free shipping. I have never had any problems with the sellers. I have tried to buy today’s book from a seller on Walmart’s website and am now being told my order is delayed. I should have checked this first but I have found out this seller only has 60% rating, I don’t think I will ever get this book from him.

  46. I sure loved your Thankgiving video. It’s funny I was very quiet in school but I loved making my mom laugh by marching and dancing to March music. Around other people you never heard a word. I was forced to come out of my shell when my boss said I had to give a presentation. I was petrified but The Lord helped me through it. Now when I go into a crowd I introduce myself, or greet new people at church. I know you know that feeling as well.

  47. That Lincoln quote was a paraphrased version. I believe it was “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.” I didn’t look it up, but that’s the way I remember it. Good point regardless of the version.

  48. As a retired school teacher, I can honestly say that the most quiet were usually the most interesting. They learned how to interpret the language of silence, had a strong sense of intuition, and keen understanding of body movements and the human psyche.

  49. Thanks for preserving the old ways ..in so many ways people not too far back in our ancestry just seemed to be a right bit smarter than we are today. Dorie sounds like my kind of people.
    Hope all went well for your Thanksgiving.
    Carolyn

  50. One of my wife’s cousins said the same thing about me. “Why I didn’t know he could talk!” I was probably in my late 20s or early 30s at the time.

    There are varying reasons she might have thought that about me, the main one being I don’t like to interrupt people when they are speaking and it took her that long to shut up. “To get a word in edgewise!”

  51. I love Dorie and I love this sentiment, I also try to live by if you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all! Happy Thanksgiving and may God bless you and your family.

  52. I remember as a child I overheard someone say “stay close to the quiet ones, when they speak you can learn a lot”. I remember that to this day and she was correct. Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

  53. what good advice, there have been a few times I wish I had. I am hoping all of you had s wonderful Thanksgiving, I sure did

  54. Wow, what an event at your home. I loved the, to start with, the list, the ingredients on the dressing…let us start with that. Is the vinegar and mustard a family thing with yours or Matt’s family. That is a new one on me and the amount of broth Matt added to it with Corie mixing? Inquiring minds want to know. I was so excited to see Granny after the end of her treatments. Praying for that to be the end and prayerfully the mass will have shrunk enough. I could go on and on, but just seeing Katie’s baby bump was a perfect ending shot of what I am sure was a perfect day. Keep on keepin’ on you guys, you do have a way of starting me day off on a wonderful perfect note. Looking forward to today’s ‘read’ and watching December rolling on in. God Bless and Praying for ‘our’ Granny.

  55. Tipper,
    This reminds me of the quote of some older person saying that “they had learned much more by listening rather than talking.”

  56. Momma always said, “you learn more by listening.” I believe that to be true.

    Such wise words from your daddy and Mr. Lincoln. I’ve heard that quote by the president before. Smart men!

    Today is the day!!! I’m getting ready to listen to the Christmas cd I purchased from y’all. I’m so excited!!

  57. I’ve always been on the quiet side. I have to get to know you before I open up and talk to you. My folks said if he knows you you’ll not be able to shut him up. It is still true today. I like to be quiet and listen and take it in.

  58. Good morning!!!
    Being quiet and non talkative certainly doesn’t mean one is less than intelligent.
    Wishing everyone an after Thanksgiving Happy Long weekend.

  59. The old sayings bring back memories of when I was younger. Having a large family, mother would tell us kids when fussing with each other “if you don’t have anything nice to say,then don’t say it at all”.

  60. I so loved the reading of Dorie Woman of the Mountains and would be so THANKFUL to have my own copy.
    So glad Mrs. Wilson is doing better. Continuing to have her in my prayers.

  61. First, I am happy Granny has finished her treatments, I have been praying for her and all of you and will continue to pray for y’all. You wouldn’t know it from my long comments, but I am quiet too when I am around people I don’t know, but will talk your ears off once I get to know you. I have often heard my Daddy and some other smart people in their own way, say the same thing, open your mouth and remove all doubt. Daddy told me this about loudmouths when it came to fighting among boys, the ones doing the talking/bragging are usually hot air, the quiet one is the one that will take your head off your shoulders. I have seen this proven true during my school years. I was always afraid with my luck one of the loudmouths might not be hot air! I would like to win this book, I tried buying this book a few weeks ago from an online Walmart seller and my order was delayed on the promised delivery date, I don’t think I will get my book.

    Report from yesterday, I did myself proud with showing the cook my appreciation, I even skipped desert in order to eat more of her old time southern cornbread dressing and goblet gravy. I may have not busted my belly or gut, but I shore did put a hurting on it! I hope everyone had a good and happy Thanksgiving Day, hopefully spent with family and loved ones.

    1. I have found it usually true that a lot of the big talkers are just hot air or “blowing steam”. I also learned not to challenge them when I said to one of them that he suffered from ” diarrhea of the mouth”. He backed up his talk.

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