I love the rich colorful language of Appalachia. I love the mispronunciations, the unusual words and phrases, and the sayings—both funny and wise.
Over the last couple of weeks several funny sayings have been shared in my weekly live videos. I especially enjoyed two of them.
The first was a bit of sage advice about marriage: “Don’t hitch your wagon to a moron.”
One needs to study hard about taking the leap of marriage for you are indeed hitching your wagon to another person and all their ways both good and bad.
The second describes someone who isn’t very smart: “If brains were lard he wouldn’t have enough to grease a pan.”
What a colorful way to say someone is lacking in intelligence. Anyone who has ever greased a pan can immediately connect with the saying in an intimate way and fully understand the meaning behind it.
Both sayings make me grin, but mostly I like them because of the straightforward meaning they convey. Matt has always said there’s nothing like plain talk and these sayings are good examples of going straight to the issue at hand.
For more funny sayings you can check out this video.
Tipper
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Both of those are too good not to share! Now my husband is laughing too! Thank you from both of us for new old ways to speak what’s true. Ha ha! I’m sure going to remember those! ❤️
One of my favorite, and oft used, expressions is, “She worked him harder than a rented mule.”
When my mom would be talking about a person’s health or spirts she’d say “well, they have gone down like a one egg pudding!” Meaning they had deteriorated and weren’t doing well.
I like to read and having recently read two books titled “Branch Water Tales and More Branch Water Tales”. Both of them had many funny sayings in the stories. I don’t guess this is a saying, it was about a man talking to his wife about a lady being very ugly. His wife told him to hush, the lady couldn’t help it. The man told her he knew she couldn’t help being ugly but dad gum, she could at least stay home!
God said “brain”,you thought he said “rain”, and you ran for cover!!! Joe South
I’ve heard the lard comment all my life. Another saying in our family was “He doesn’t have the common sense God gave an animal cracker.”
“If his brain was in a buzzard, it would fly backward and holler ‘bobwhite’ “. My dad, the late Ralph C. Byers
The human brain is 60% fat. To say that his brains wouldn’t grease a pan would mean he had a brain the size of a walnut. A perfectly cracked out walnut produced a two hemisphered goodie that looks like a mini brain. I have heard of pea brained people so why not walnut brains.
I enjoy all those old sayings too:) Here in SC PA it’s to be 98 with heat index into the 100’s. Everybody stay cool.
Listening to Paul sing on old timey Tuesdays, I had heard the words Ole Slewfoot when I was a little girl but had never heard the song. I thought Ole Slewfoot was some creature that roamed around in the bottom lands:) Song was really peppy.
I love these colorful sayings! Very true and make you giggle at the same time!
My late husband was fond of saying, “dumb as a box of rocks” and “this is about as organized as a soup sandwich”.
My paternal papaw was a moonshiner in southeast KY. He said a good jug of corn squeezins could put hair on a wooden leg. He also said a naggin woman could make a train take a dirt road. I’ve heard him tell a naggin woman could make a saint say his prayers backwards. Lord, what I wouldn’t give to have him here earhtside to hear more of these plain talk sayins. I wish y’all a wonderful day.
Blessings from a very hot, humid Ohio.
I love the one about lard. I’ve been keeping a list for years and will have to add that one. Randy, yours is good too. I might have heard this one on the Blind Pig, but another favorite is “she’s so stubborn that if she fell in a river she would try to float upstream” or something to that affect. I used to know people who could say some really good ones but don’t hear them much now. Please keep them coming.
Sallie, I heard that before about floating upstream, but it as about a man’s being contrary.
Just got a call from my doctor my CT scan came back negative. I thank everyone that prayed for me. This old dried up Southern Baptist is going out in the yard, try to run around and shout for joy!
Randy, answered prayers and wonderful news!
So happy for you Randy.
Good news, Randy.
Now, let’s all remember to thank God for that blessing.
Randy, that’s wonderful news! Thanks be to God!
Praise God for answered prayers!
Over time, you have convinced me, Tipper, that us Appalachianers just like to have fun with words. So some of us (not me though) just go through life inventing sayings or re-inventing older ones with newer illustrations. But there is also a whole set of old-time favorites that we hang on to. I have been rather surprised to read here over the years the comments from folks in places like Ohio, Indiana, Oklahoma, Missouri and Arkansas that in there family “Appalachianisms” are commonly used. So that shows both the habit of use and the heritage of them is very durable. I like that because it tells me that were I to be in any of those places I could hope to find “home folks”. And that poking fun at unfunny things shows another character trait – coping with trouble by making it small and a joke.
It’s gonna be very hot here in WV today too. The only thing that saves us is the fact that we are surrounded by tall oak trees that give us much-needed shade.i pray everyone stays safe during this heatwave.
My hubby always says about someone who is lacking in intelligence— “He doesn’t have the sense God gave a wooden goose’.
I love the one about lard. I always thought this one was funny. Seems like my son has this kind of luck. I tell him that if he fell into a barrel of nipples, he would come out sucking his thumb. I love our language and wouldn’t want to change it for nothing. Please pray for our disabled daughter Sayward Brooke. She is allergic to mosquito . Her caregivers didn’t spray her and now she has infection in her legs and arms. Thank you all. I love reading the post. Everyone stay safe in this heat. God bless.
I enjoyed all of the people in the chat last night! They were hilarious! Such a great group of people as well as the people in this blog! So happy to hear that CA made 300k! Now we need to get the girls to 100 as well as Paul on the BPATA channel! I have heard the hitching phrase before but I heard it with the word Fool. I think moron is more colorful! Love you all.
The second one is both funny and to the point. I enjoy reading the words of wisdom and the funny sayings in comments of the weekly lives. So often it reminds me of things my parents used to say.
I personally liked the fact that you used the phrase “lacking in intelligence” instead of two common words used so often in today’s society.
I have heard it said that his brains on a razor blade would look like a BB on an interstate highway. I recently read something about a husband talking about his wife and some of her decisions. He said after all she chose me! I don’t remember how it was worded.
Ed, no need for you to apologize, I thought I was the one that was carrying it on about the tractor.
Extreme heat in my area today, 100 degrees with a heat index close to 110.