Tipper
ugly adjective Of a person: bad-tempered, mean, misbehaving.
1992 Brooks Sthn Stuff 20 act ugly = misbehave. “My ma would beat the livin’ daylights out of me if Ah acted ugly when cump’ny came.” 1994 Rash New Jesus 37 Larry has gone out of his way to be as ugly as possible to me. 2017 Blind Pig (March 31) Don’t be ugly,” meaning don’t be sassy or mean.
—Dictionary of Southern Appalachian English
Several folks have asked me about using the word ugly to mean misbehave recently. When I was a girl I was often told not to be ugly or not to act ugly, especially if I was playing with other children.
In turn I used the same phrases on my girls to warn them to be good when they were little.
I was pleasantly surprised when I checked the dictionary to see if the word ugly was listed to see that Blind Pig and The Acorn is used as a reference.
Is using ugly in this manner something you are familiar with?
Last night’s video: Eating the First Onions from the Garden & Planting Flowers.
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I grew up hearing that too and used it with my children some. Although I am not from Appalachia, I grew up in the Piedmont of NC; my parents grew up on farms near the Virginia line but much of the language and pronounciations you share is very familiar to me too.
I heard ugly used as a form if misbehavior as I grew up. I well understood what it meant. Much more frequently I heard pretty is as ptretty was. I don’t think my family used the term to misbehaving boys. As the mom of sons i did use the expression with them.
I use to tell my children God don’t like ugly. They remind me of that all the time
I understand what it means to be told not to be ugly. A friend of mine recently told me her step children were being ugly to her. I knew exactly what she meant.
Growing up, I was a sassy thing. It seems like someone was always telling me not to be ugly. I’m not sure it sank in, but I did pick up on the phrase! Lol
HI,
My Aunt Pauline was our babysitter and she was also Grandpa and Grandma’s caretaker.
We had a triple dose of “don’t be ugly”, be pretty so you won’t wake up Grandpa and Grandma,
don’t go in the woods without me because there are Boogers in the woods and the natural division
of the grandchildren into big younguns and little younguns. I tried to get away from my Appalachian roots with my children and I used the terms behave yourself with a dirty look, stop that, and get out of
that.
My mother and father did use some of the Appalachian vocabulary and which helped them slowly learn about the real Appalachian world they enjoyed.
As adults, one lives here in the mountains and enjoys the Appalachian ways and life style.
The other is in Texas and travels internationally. His culture hasn’t left him– his Spanish has
a distinct Appalachia twist to it.
The sofa in the picture is just like the one I grew up with. Mommy got hers at the local furniture store in Hillsville, Va. It was a good friend for many years.
Take care,
Kathy Patterson
Growing up I was told to not act ugly or talk ugly. 🙂
I don’t know what is wrong with this laptop. I sent a message about your cookbook. I would like to buy one. Just send me the price and your address and Iwill mail acheck or money order. Thank You.
Yes, I have absolutely heard it, and used it. I thought it was common. Hugs!
We used “ugly” to describe someone in a bad mood.
I’ve heard this one all my life, especially when talking to younguns. I’m sure I’ve used it more than once on my youngins when they were growing up. I’ve also heard the positive expression used as in “now you kids be nice and play pretty”.
From Merriam-Webster online dictionary:
Ugly –
a: offensive to the sight : hideous
b: offensive or unpleasant to any sense
c: morally offensive or objectionable
d:corruption—the ugliest stain of all
e: likely to cause inconvenience or discomfort the ugly truth
f: surly, quarrelsome an ugly disposition
g: frightful, dire
Yes, I’ve heard it and used it in that context all my life. My daughter also uses it the same way.
Can anyone tell me when ‘act up’ became ‘act out?’
Enjoyed the video last night. If you keep a’working Matt like a rented mule, he’s a’gonna falter. 🙂
Yes, “don’t be ugly”, is still a very common phrase. I daresay every kid I knew while growing up heard their parents and other adults admonish them with the phrase. I used the phrase myself to admonish my own kids when they were growing up. I’ve heard them say it their kids too. It’s as common as dishwater in our neck of the woods. Also the phrase “play purty” to us meant “be good” or it could mean a child’s toy.
used this phrase all the time with my girls.
I definitely heard “Now don’t be ugly” and “Don’t act up”. I think “don’t be ugly” was also used if I was in a bad mood. Seems I heard these more when we were going to church!
Growing up I had a best friend just up the street and her Mom was as dear to me any soul on Earth. Often she would say, ” girls, don’t be ugly” and we’d grin but straighten up! 56 years later and I’m blessed to say my friend Nan and I still grin albeit with a teary eye when we recall those good days and precious words…
Heard it growing up and still use it. Very common and can be used in a lot of situations.
Yes, my grandmother, Nanny, would say that someone (insert name here) is acting ugly. For the most part, it was my cousin He had ADHD before they ever called it that.
Yes, growing up on the west coast I heard it often referring to kid’s and adult’s behavior. I use it often myself in describing someone’s actions when they are just plain being mean. Sometimes there is just no other fitting word.
Donna. : )
Mom used to say be pretty girls now! Guess that also means not to be “ugly”
I heard “do pretty now “and “don’t be (act) ugly” all my childhood from my mama and Piedmont Georgia relatives.
Heard it all my childhood!
I grew up hearing “Don’t be ugly”, or “If you’re goin be ugly, you’re goin get a switchin.”. I also have said it to my daughter and granddaughter. I also say “Be sweet” or “Now where’s my sweet girl”, when I can tell behavior is starting to get a little ugly.
We use ‘ugly’ to describe behavior, also. I frequently say “that little boy was acting ugly and I hope you don’t ever do that”. I sure don’t want to label the boy as ‘bad’ but to let mine know that behavior is what is being judged, not the person. If they think they are bad, they won’t grow up to know there is a choice.
I use that term nearly every day. Like many that are presented on here, I just thought everybody did!
Born & raised in Mississippi I’ve heard “Don’t
Act Ugly or “Don’t be ugly all my life”. I still use that phrase sometimes. When we were kids our cousin, Rosemary, came to stay at our house for a few days and her Mom was from Panama & spoke Spanish a lot in the household. When little Rosemary was aggravating our Boston Terrier, Mom told her to not be ugly. Rosemary ran out of the room crying and said, “I’m not ugly, I’m pretty.” When she got home she told her Mom that Aunt Marguerite thinks she is ugly. We all had a laugh about that & still tease her to this day.
Growing up I heard my mother, aunts, and grandmother use it all the time … on the boys, LOL. Sometimes the girls would hear it if they were teenagers and acting all wonky and sarcastic. When the boys did something REALLY BAD, they also told the boys: “You do that again you’re gonna wake up dead!” The boys in my family could be rambunctious.
my mother told us kids not to be ugly when we fussed with each other or with the neighbor kids. I don’t hear it much any more
I live in central eastern Missouri, but have a lot of friends from southern MO, and they all use ugly in that context. They also use the phrase “God don’t like ugly.” With one daughter living now living in southern MO and the other near Nashville, TN, we’re finding a lot of the language is the same, which surprises me.
God bless you friends of Appalachia, Sunday is my birthday, old and ugly ,Have a great day with Jesus
I have grown up hearing this not so much from my parents but from older people in our community.
Another one is the use of the word “smart” to mean well-behaved. When we moved to this area in 1971, my mother was looking for a church home. The first time she visited the church that eventually became our home church, she put my brother ( a year old) and me (3 yo) in the nursery while she went to the service. When she came to get us afterward, the ladies told her, “Oh, your children are so smart!” Mom was puzzled until she realized they meant we had been good. I guess in her part of West Virginia, she had never heard that expression.
Ugly is a good word and for girls to be thought of as ugly USED to be quite an insult. “Pretty is as pretty does” used to be heard alot too. I see a lot of people acting ugly these days mainly on social media. I purchased an “ugly” fruit once and put the sticker on my car seat mirror. It stayed til the car left. Oh my, some of the stuff we talk about is funnier than a crutch..
I’ve heard ugly used this way all my life.
Well, I do not recall a specific example but I sure feel like I heard that growing up. Anyway if I heard it said I would most likely think, ‘Been awhile since I heard that.’ You have a way of awakening echoes from my past. Makes me sad though because it is a gauge of change; in me and in the world generally. Too many people never learned to not be ugly as your experience with spammers illustrates.
Oh yes! I have heard that all my life. I’ve also heard the Good Lord brought into the phrase. “Oh my. You shouldn’t act like that. Jesus don’t like ugly.”
Not long ago we had houseguests from Arizona. They are Native American young women. They heard me say that to one of my young boys and they were mortified. They thought I was saying Jesus don’t like people who are not beautiful. I had to explain myself and our Appalachian usage of “ugly”.
Heard it all my life and also used it with my children!
Was 18 and hadn’t heard this use of acting ‘ugly’ until visiting family in Florida from Oklahoma. However, older relatives from Tennessee and Virginia said, ‘That’s downright ugly’ in talking about a bad situation. So interesting, this line of thinking about word usage.
Don’t be ugly was very commonly used by parents and grandparents to correct children back in the 1950’s.
Oh, my….YES. That’s a VERY common usage of the word for me! Also, “ugly is as ugly does”….”pretty is as pretty does”. (Kind of Forrest Gump-ish, isn’t it? ;))
For some reason, when my mother would tell me to “stop being ugly”, it had more of an impact on my mind than any other phrase that meant the same thing. 🙂
I have heard that, although not in many years. In my family, we didn’t use the word that way even though we understood when we heard it used.
I tell my husband that often, but it dosent seem to work on him..Smile
I’ve heard “don’t be ugly” meaning to “be nice”, all my life. Like Brenda said, it’s similar to being told not to be ill. Although some people may not be familiar they should get the point.
My Granny used to say to us……”Ya’ll play pretty now.” Same meaning I suppose. LOL
Granny was wise. It’s always better to focus on the positive. When younguns are in the moment, they tend to hear certain things. If you say, “Don’t run.” They often hear only “Run.” So…to have them not run, it’s better to say, “Please walk.” This refers especially to places like indoor spaces like church or school.
I too was often told not to be or act ugly. Something else I would be told was to not be showing out or showing off. Doing any of these things was a sure fire way to get me a whipping. Everyday now, I find myself longing more and more for the good old days of the past when my parents, grandparents and other family members or friends and neighbors were still alive. I got plenty of whippings and had usually done something to deserve them (been ugly). My claim to fame will be climbing out of the Sunday School room windows ( no screens and low to the ground) in our un air condition old church building and running around in the church cemetery. Mother would spank me if she came to bring me back inside, Daddy would sometimes stay and walk around with me.
Sounds like you received a good lesson from both parents!
Interesting to read comment from other readers that still us the word ugly. Oddly it’s use fits so many descriptions of bad, nasty, mean, cruel and I am sure a few more. As far as your video from last nite, I am so in awe of you guys already having onions large enough to eat. I have been looking for traveling onions, I think they are called. I have a friend, that lives about 80 miles west of me that has wild onions and they are so good. When she mows her back yard you can smell them as she cuts them down The grow back just like her grass. Can’t wait for today’s book to start. I am sure it is gonna be good. God Bless and please tell Granny hello for me.
My mommie would say play nice and be pretty girls
I grew up in a rural area of piedmont NC, and “ugly” was often used to mean “misbehave.”
We were always told not to act ugly. That’s a little like the word “ill.” You might hear “don’t be ill” instead of don’t be mad.
Thank you Tipper for helping keep our unique language alive.
Brenda Smith
“Ill as a hornet” And that’s pretty ill–I had one attack and sting me several times many years ago as I was drawing water & couldn’t escape.
oh yes! I remember my grandmother used that phrase all the time and I use it today with my great grandchildren. They look at me sort of funny because “ugly “doesn’t mean ” misbehaving to them, it means “not pretty to look at”.
Growing up, I often heard the phrase “Don’t be ugly” as a warning about improper behavior or words.
I use ugly in the manner. It covers a lot as far as behavior is concerned.